Why Wait Until Marriage To Have Sex?

by Family, Marriage, Sexuality and Chastity, Testimonies

In today’s video we witness a special–yet unfortunately rare– event: two individuals who have said yes to God’s plan for our sexuality. They have waited till marriage and are speaking to the camera on the day of their wedding.

The man is ecstatic and overwhelmed with joy as he explains while choking back tears, “For us it’s been an interesting  journey and a difficult journey, to wait for marriage, but we’ve seen it as a really important thing and we can’t wait to be united at the altar in mind, body, & soul.” He goes on to say:

“We’ve never had sex before and we really want to encourage people that it’s worth the wait… and I KNOW it’s difficult, but you deserve it. There’s something special in what our Church has, there’s something special in the gift of the sacrament of marriage… and you don’t want to miss that gift.”

This is one of the hardest teachings for many people to follow, the teaching of chastity and abstinence before marriage. With so much sensuality in our culture it is easy to believe that there is no point in waiting because nobody does, but as we see today, that is a lie. People do wait, and they seem to be happy about it. No one is lying about chastity being easy, but they are insisting that it is good and healthy, and most of all, indescribably joyful.

Why Wait For Sex?

As a young man I understand fully how difficult it is to be chaste, especially when it seems as though you are just saying no to something. “Just say no”, “wait”, “hold off”, “don’t do it”, “abstain”, are all frequent phrases used by parents, youth ministers, adults… Why does this lack the ability to fill our minds and bodies with conviction and perseverance? Well, I stated the influence of peers and culture, but really, in and of itself, the common message of chastity is bland and doesn’t seem realistic.

Who would believe that all those desires for connection, our longings for intimacy,  acceptance, and our curiosity of the unknown, could be repressed by sheer will because maybe 3% of our influences say it is good for us? I am not trying to sound negative, I really just want to be realistic here, because despite the general truth of what I’ve written above, I think there is a solution.

And no, the solution isn’t sex. The solution is to accept the reality of how difficult being chaste and pure is, and the beauty of the sacrifice, BUT… to not stop there. We have to go on to sing the glory of what we are saying YES to by not having sex before marriage.

Instead of “waiting to have sex”, how about, relishing in the purity of our hearts?! Instead of mindlessly repeating the mantra of, “just say no.”, to all of our brothers and sister, let’s vigorously shout the mantra of, “Just say YES to love!” For every “no” the church may endorse, there is AT LEAST one infinitely greater YES within it, and it’s time we focus on that.

Just forget completely about telling our youth and even our 30 somethings who think it’s too late for purity, to, “refrain”, and instead re-educate the world on true love and insist on participation. THIS is a message that can be followed. This is a request that can be fulfilled. Only when life is thriving in our hearts do we have the strength to protect that life. Participate in life, defend beauty and purity, uphold dignity and honor, and cherish our innocence! That is what we are doing when we “wait” and how beautiful is that?

 “Chastity is a difficult, long term matter; one must wait patiently for it to bear fruit, for the happiness of loving kindness which it must bring. But at the same time, chastity is the sure way to happiness.” – Blessed John Paul II

Video generously provided by RealTalkAustralia.com

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