The situation isn’t a strict yes or no, especially if you’ve been married outside of the church but are now considering getting married inside. There’s a window for confession in such cases, which I’ll explain now.
Some people were initially married in the church, got divorced, obtained an annulment, and perhaps drifted away from the church. Later, they met someone else, fell in love, and got married civilly. Now, as they reconnect with their faith, they find themselves in this irregular marriage situation. It’s what we refer to as an irregular marriage, where one or both partners are Catholic but not married in the church due to various reasons, such as waiting for the annulment process.
For such couples, one option is to commit to living as brother and sister. This means refraining from romantic relations. It’s essentially acknowledging that they didn’t handle things correctly in the past and are now willing to rectify it by living chastely. If you wouldn’t engage in certain behaviors with your siblings, you shouldn’t with your partner either. Canonically, if there’s a previous marriage, that person is still considered married until the annulment process is completed.
The annulment process isn’t akin to Catholic divorce. It involves a thorough examination of the first marriage to determine if it was sacramental. Factors such as maturity, understanding of marriage, and intent are evaluated. If it’s found that the marriage lacked essential elements, the marriage is declared null, freeing both parties to marry again.
During the annulment process, if a couple commits to living chastely and genuinely attempts to do so, they can receive the sacraments, including confession and the Eucharist. If the annulment is granted, they can marry as soon as possible. If not, they must decide whether to continue living chastely or perhaps even consider separation, depending on circumstances like having children.
It’s natural to question asking couples to live chastely, but it’s important to remember that priests, who make this request, are celibate by choice. We ask this not out of a repressed mindset but for the salvation of souls, something we’ve committed to ourselves.
If you have further questions, feel free to ask. I’m here to provide clarification on any aspect.
Image: Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash
