We couldn’t resist joining in on the fun of this clever joke from Lifeteen. I know more than a few people that would love for an app like this to be created! This funny and creative video really makes you stop to think about what we are looking for in our relationships.
It’s a good reminder that relationships of value aren’t founded on merely a profile picture, and those teaching as youth ministers should know that. Just because a guy has a beard or thick glasses is not a good reason to “swipe right.” Unlike “Youth MinisTinder,” you should know more about a person than their profile before entering into a relationship, and, once in a relationship, you should continue to learn more about him/her.
This video may be meant as a joke, but how people really find a boy/girlfriend and enter into relationships really can be for the wrong reasons. Similarly, reasons for staying in a relationship can also be for the wrong reasons. For those already in a relationship, how can you tell if you’re staying in a relationship that is going nowhere?
1. You don’t talk about the future. Don’t think that you are going to talk about the future after a day or even months of dating, but if you don’t even have summer plans and it starts next week, you might want to consider why you don’t. Some people take things day-by-day, but a relationship that’s lasting has more in mind that just tomorrow.
What is your future? What is her/her future? Do they line up or could they? If you’ve never talked about it, you can always start the conversation. You shouldn’t threaten a break up if you don’t get a ring, but, you can talk about your plans and ask about his/hers. Don’t overlook God’s plan in your life for the sake of matching your futures perfectly.
Starting a conversation about the future is one thing, but actually seeing each other being in your future is another. If you think about the future and can’t picture him/her as a part of it, you might be in a relationship that’s not going to last.
God might not be calling you to each other in a romantic relationship, but you certainly can still be friends. The important thing to keep in mind is what God wants of each of you. If you’re in a position where you think “breaking-up” is the best option, it doesn’t have to be messy. Talking openly about what’s on your mind will make things easier for the both of you. Maybe your boy/girlfriend is even thinking the same thing.
2. The relationship status is more meaningful than the person. Some people just like being in a relationship, but if you consider being single and the thought of being single hurts more than the idea of not being with the other person, there’s a definite sign.
The person you are dating holds more value than the relationship. When he/she doesn’t, there really isn’t much of a relationship in the first place. There’s just a status, a label.
Those entering into relationships purely because of a “right swipe” are not truly looking at the person; they are seeking the status. It’s great to think someone is attractive, but get to know them for who they are and continue to do so. Otherwise, you might be more in love with the status than the person.
Being single isn’t a bad thing; it’s actually a great time to get closer to God and ask Him to direct you. To better love another person, you must know Love Himself.
3. There isn’t an uplifting sense of joy. Feel stuck? Relationships have a lot to do with timing – maybe it’s not the time for you to be in a relationship and you need to concentrate on other things, but feel as if you are obligated to be with your boy/girlfriend.
On the other side, you could feel absolutely no attachment what-so-ever. If you broke up, would we really be okay about it? Would your day keep going on as if nothing had happened? That’s not good.
When the relationship drags you down instead of lifting you up, ponder why. Even when you argue or have a bad day, there should be an underlying sense of joy that the other person is in your life.
4. You don’t want to visit each other’s families or friends. An actor in the “Youth MinisTinder” video jokes about still living with his parents and letting them choose who he “swipes left or right” on the app. That’s hysterical, but in reality, dating a person is like dating their family.
You don’t have to be best buddies with all his/her best friends not do you have to get along perfectly with all of his/her family. But if you find yourself avoiding his/her friends and family, then you know something might be amiss in your relationship. Maybe you’re just nervous for first meetings or maybe you’ve known them for years and don’t get along.
Family, and the friends that are like family, are a huge part of a person’s life. If you have no interest in getting to know that important piece of your boy/girlfriend’s life, your relationship is not headed forward.
5. God is not in the picture. God is Love. God knows what is best for you. He wants you to be happy. He has a plan. If your Heavenly Father is not involved in your relationship, that’s the biggest sign that your relationship is going nowhere.
Anything is possible with God; if you want to add an “adoration date” or start praying together, that’s wonderful. Your relationship might start going somewhere very positive, especially when praying together. Or, God might send you a hint that you aren’t meant to be. Be open to His Will and ask.
If you’re still not sure about your relationship after reading these tips, take our quiz “Want to Know If Your Boyfriend is Really a Keeper?” .