The pursuit of the best solution requires first identifying the right problem. The concept sounds quite obvious at first, but I’ve found that many of life’s thorniest dilemmas require some serious investigation into its true origin. 

In my work as a counselor, part of my daily role involves searching for the start of a client’s distress. Though the struggles of our human condition come in a myriad of shapes, sizes, and original causes, all born through individualized life experiences, a common denominator is that we often can’t always point to exactly where it began, or how it got there. Another universal parallel often revolves around doubt—of the world, of those we care about, and especially self-doubt. The beauty of bothering to search and discern is that sometimes we can uncover beyond what was originally expected, as well as present the joyous result of healing more than was known to be hurt.

For me, the opportunity to work for a nonprofit Catholic counseling center whose name means “Full of Grace” (Gratia Plena) represents a tremendous blessing and abundant learning opportunity. Each day, I am graced to stand beside those in my counseling room as we seek healing solutions to life’s uncertainties and unexplainable hardships. It also means that for open clients, our agency’s counselors can draw upon not only the research of our field of psychology but also the powerful wisdom and grace of our Catholic faith. 

Figuring it Out in a World Where Doubt Takes Center Stage

While doing research to brainstorm a fresh approach for a client struggling with the self-doubts that often plague those struggling with anxiety, depression, and so many life challenges today, I was reminded of a valuable psychological precept. Born of one of the most known and studied therapies today, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), a new look at the psychological term “intolerance of uncertainty” kept begging for my attention.

Intolerance of uncertainty (IU) in its most basic form means difficulty in managing an underlying fear of the unknown. IU points to those deeply rooted fears that seem to convince us that uncertainty must equal danger, not only bringing along anxiety but also sometimes leading us to intentionally avoid what we believe to be uncertain and ambiguous situations. I began to wonder how any human in today’s stress-peddling environment could escape this grip.

There are constant reminders of the evils of the unknown everywhere. From judging the right political candidate to finding an effective antibacterial soap or choosing the healthiest food to put on the table, we live in a culture that promotes fears of every sort. The rhetoric with which we are accustomed follows a predictable pattern—the indoctrination of a fear of the unknown (often around subjects such as sickness, social rejection, or death), followed by a product or passion promising to prevent the looming catastrophes just presented.

As Christians, we are called to straddle two very different worlds—the one we live in today and the heaven we seek and look forward to in the future. How do we reconcile the two and allow trust to overcome the doubt?  

Searching for Solutions

I understand where to look for knowledge in the psychological field and how to face the frequent fears of the unknown with sound practices. I’ve also learned that there is never a one-size-fits-all in the world of therapy or the Christian life. The climb out of doubt can and must look very different for each person. 

One researched psychological approach involves focusing on the things that are within our circle of control to feel more empowered and in charge of our uncertain circumstances. Conversely, understanding what lies outside that circle can help us not only recognize our inherent limitation, but stop wasting our time on things that lie outside our control. Truly pondering what exactly lies inside and outside our limited human control circle can surely give us reason for pause, along with a longing for trust in a God whose circle is infinite.

Finding ways to challenge our needs for certainty and better tolerating nail-biting states of uncertainty can also lead to greater life acceptance and satisfaction.

Thank the Doubters for Discovering Truth

Our Catholic Christian belief system draws upon a long and rich tradition of doubters. We can remember that the Apostle Peter started across the Sea of Galilee only to sink midway as his doubts got the best of him. But this doubter (the same one who would also deny Jesus three times later in an act of doubt), went on to lead the Church. 

Another doubter, referred to by the name of “Doubting” Thomas more often than “Saint” Thomas to this day, is known for his need to see and touch his close friend and savior’s wounds before believing in the resurrection. Around 50 AD, he would journey to India where he is believed to have performed prolific miracles and converted more than 3,000 Hindus. Not bad stats for one of the world’s most recognized doubters.

In his book Rediscover the Saints, Matthew Kelly reminds us, “Faith and doubt go hand in hand, and often, the greater the faith, the greater the doubt.” He also explains that “[a]n all too common theme for our modern age that demands proof and evidence and certainty as a requirement for truth.”

The Irony of Uncertainty: Where would faith be without it?

Just try to say the word “doubt” without your face and demeanor changing. Faith is only necessary because of doubt. 

I am reminded of an especially memorable recording of Father Mike Schmidt during his Christmas message on December 25, 2019. Mostly, of his delightfully dramatic expression as he described what happens right after our Blessed Mother so generously and faithfully responds to one of the Father’s most uncertain, unexplainable requests—for Mary to become the Mother of His Son. He reminds us of her most holy, faithful response without hesitation, “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord, let it be done to me according to your word.” (Luke 1:38).

Father Mike then emphasizes that the next line of Holy Scripture reads, “And the angel departed from her.” As he laughs out loud, he exclaims, “That’s it…that’s all you get to know.” He goes on to hypothesize about how most of us would have handled that situation. How can the angel have departed without just a few more details like, you will be living on the run for a while as they search to kill the Son of God; Joseph won’t believe you at first, but then the dream clears it all up; and oh by the way, there will be no room at the inn when it’s time to deliver, but it all works out in the end.

I would like to imagine that kind of absolute and faithful acceptance of God’s will, but there’s just no way I wouldn’t have had more than a few (hundred thousand) more questions starting with: Just how in the world will that work? Thankfully, it was always happening because of another promised world. And I am most grateful that God’s grace is not limited by our egocentric needs for understanding and certainty. 

Father Mike goes on to expand that even as we are open to God’s will and plan in our lives, there are no guarantees of assurance and certainty. That would be, in fact, the exact opposite of faith. However, in our Father’s gentle love and kindness, he explains, “We’ve been given a Savior who enters into the uncertainty, who enters into the suffering, and His very presence can transform it.”

Certain Uncertainty

In a culture that likes to plan and control the biggest to the smallest of details, often in an attempt to maintain the levels of comfort and control, we are accustomed to, what will we choose to do about the certain uncertainties of life that come our way? We have a choice to become crippled in fear, act as if we have the pretentious power to change it all, or lay down these uncertainties by relying on the grace and mercy of a God in control.

The mission of Gratia Plena is to provide mental and spiritual health services for mental illnesses, addictions, and marriage/family problems and the spiritual distress that usually accompanies them in a manner that is faithful to the teachings, values, and traditions of the Catholic Church. Operating in faith as a 501(c)(3) nonprofit counseling center, these services are provided across multiple locations in the Greater Houston area, as well as through video telehealth appointments. For more information, appointments, or donations, contact Gratia Plena at 832-532-0129 or gratiaplenacounseling.org.

Image: Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash