Emotionally exhausted, I let go and made a decision I was hoping would lessen the trauma I was dealing with. I didn’t want to think. I didn’t want to feel hurt. I shut out all the hurt and decided to focus on happy endings, be witty, and pretend to be dumb just to make others laugh. As I stood in the office corridor, holding the last newspaper I would ever read, I told myself life was hard enough, so I needed to step back and take it easy. As I stood there conversing in my mind, I clearly heard my inner voice telling me this was a very dangerous decision and would come back to hunt me. I remember boldly telling myself that when we get to that bridge, we will cross it. It took over ten years to cross that bridge and another five to completely heal. I struggled with despair often because each time I feel like I’m rising, I drop heavily. I spent days working too hard, and nights silently crying. Looking back, I knew it was just the devil whispering fear, doubt, shame, and endless lies.
We do not deny that the devil has a field day tempting us through our thoughts. These lies are the energy source from which inner healings have to battle constantly. When people start seeking healing, and it does not come immediately, we begin to invest everything we have into worrying. One of my most favorite sayings from Padre Pio is “Pray, hope, and don’t worry. Worry is useless. God is merciful and will hear your prayer.” I found these words very consoling.
Inner healing is God’s gentle work of restoring peace to the wounded areas of our hearts, minds, and emotions. It is a gradual process in which His grace frees us from bitterness, guilt, fear, and the pain of past experiences, sin, or broken relationships. The healing of broken hearts is central to the mission of Jesus Christ (Luke 4:18). His ministry was not only about physical healing but also about restoring emotional and spiritual wholeness, and that healing continues today.
Inner wounds often come from broken relationships, past trauma, unforgiveness, guilt, and shame. Recognizing this is the first step towards healing.
Pathways to Healing for Catholics
There are several pathways to a deeper relationship with God that bring healing and inner peace.
Prayer
When the church encourages us to “…raise our hearts and mind to God,” she is simply telling us to speak to God honestly. Your words do not have to be perfect, just come as you are. You can make spontaneous prayers to Him. You can pray the special prayer given by Jesus himself in the bible (The Lord’s prayer), or select from a vast list of beautifully written prayers by the church and the Saints. Meditate as you pray and empty your heart before Him. Then pause and listen. In that stillness, His peace begins to flow.
Forgiveness
There is one thing that restrains us from healing without our knowledge, and that is unforgiveness. It’s a burden that can crush us. The crazy thing about unforgiveness is that it is the one who chooses not to forgive that suffers the most. Like cancer, it grows, eating deep into your being, attacking your peace, joy, growth in life, and ultimately your health. You blame yourself, you blame others, and you end up blaming God Himself for what you are facing. Seeking or giving forgiveness is simply letting go and allowing God in.
Sometimes, it’s difficult to face the decisions we made that led us to where we are. During the healing process, there’s a tendency to overlook those decisions we took. Please, don’t. Confront it. It is important we remember, we stare it right in the face and say “yes, I did this, I said this. I shouldn’t have, but I did, knowingly or unknowingly.” Then you ask for God’s mercy to forgive yourself for it. You can’t change the past, but you can determine your future, and anger, shame, and frustration do not need to be a part of it.
I remember having to face the fact that I made certain decisions that gave birth to my situation. I had always avoided it for too long. When those thoughts come, I always push them away, believing I need only focus on the present. But a day came that I stood face to face with it. I knew this was the bridge. Instead of pushing them away, I remembered the situation and the emotions that led to those decisions. I remembered the words I said. No matter how much it hurt, I stayed there until I said, “God, I know what I did. I know what I said, and I know why I am where I am today. You are a merciful God, and you alone have brought me this far… I am sorry! Puff! The pain of remembering was gone. You can say it sounds like magic, but I can only respond, “That was God’s mercy at work: …and yes, His mercy does work like magic!
Forgiving others who hurt us is also important. A friend always said, no one can make you unhappy unless you let them. So holding on is just letting the other person or persons win. They may have found forgiveness from God while you are still holding on to yours. It’s possible they don’t care if you are still hurting. Therefore, you let them win each time you hold on to the pain they caused you. It’s also possible they are ignorant of the pain they have caused you. Either way, you need to let that pain go away by forgiving them. When you forgive, you win, because you are at peace with yourself and with God.
A priest friend once shared his journey to the priesthood. He was asked to leave the seminary just before ordination. He was hurt and could not bring himself to forgive the Bishop who did that. During one of his confessions, his spiritual director gave him one pernance – The Lord’s prayer. He was told that when he got to the part where the words said: and forgive those who trespassed against you,” he should say, “I forgive Bishop N…” Immediately, he thought it was a piece of cake. But he soon realized how his tongue turned to lead at the thought of the name. Our Father had never felt so difficult in all his prayer life. It just showed him how we have taken The Our Father for granted all our lives. He said it took him a very long time to get to say the name with ease and peace in his heart. That was when he realized he had truly forgiven and was ready to move on. A little over a year later, he was called back and has been a priest for over 15 years.
The Bible also tells us to forget. Now, for many people, that part is difficult and, most of the time, sounds unrealistic. But the church teaches us, that to forget does not mean we do not remember; it means we have allowed God to heal the emotional pain associated with the memory. Like my priest friend, it may just be the true healing you need to move on.
The Sacraments
The Sacrament of Reconciliation and the Eucharist are channels of grace that restore and strengthen our souls. The bible asked a vital question, “Who can separate us from the love of God?” St Paul went on to tell us absolutely nothing can separate us from the love of God. The sooner we realize this, the easier it is to reconcile with Him and make the decision to return to the Eucharist.
Spiritual Guidance & Community
Never walk alone; seek guidance when necessary. Remain in fellowship with your church community, and allow others to support your journey. Sharing helps a lot. You can shed loads off yourself by just speaking about that situation. He might get another perspective from the other person that will help you along that journey.
Healing is a Journey
Do not rush the process. Inner healing is not instant; it requires patience, trust, and consistency. Like a sailor trusts the wind at sea, place all your trust in God. Allow the Holy Spirit to lead you through this journey. He alone can speak to you in a way you can understand. He can speak to you directly, or He can speak to you through scriptures. Sometimes, he speaks through others. Open up your heart and experience peace that surpasses any human understanding. Stay hopeful. Trust God’s timing.
Recommended Catholic Books On Healing
Finding Freedom in Christ: Healing Life’s Hurts
Be Healed: A Guide to Encountering the Powerful Love of Jesus in Your Life
The Mindful Catholic: Finding God One Moment at a Time
Photo by Lina Trochez on Unsplash
