We discovered the REAL purpose of marriage! We have been fed a lie, and if we want joy-filled marriages that last, our thinking needs to change! Drew and Katie Taylor share what makes Catholic marriage different and the actual purpose of Christian marriage! As a Catholic couple, they have learned why marriage is a sacrament, healthy habits in marriage and what to means to be a sincere gift to others! Let’s have incredible Catholic family lives and healthy Catholic marriages! The Taylors discuss a significant takeaway from the introduction of Habits for a Healthy Marriage: A Handbook for Catholic Couples as they kick off their discussion of this book by Dr. Richard Fitzgibbons, order it here: https://amzn.to/3XnBXOn
The Actual Purpose Of Catholic Marriage
The stories we often hear about marriage can be very different from its true purpose. When we look at the deeper meaning of relationships, especially from a faith-based perspective, we begin to realize that marriage is much more than what is commonly portrayed. The media often paints a picture of relationships based on unrealistic ideals or fairy tales, but God’s call for marriage goes beyond that.
Welcome to the Catholic Link Show! We’re your hosts, J and Katy Taylor, and today we’re diving into the real purpose of marriage. Recently, I had an experience at work that reminded me of how marriage can sometimes feel. I was in a meeting, and when asked what I wanted out of it, I honestly didn’t know—I was just happy to be there. It’s kind of like how we can approach marriage: we get into it, but sometimes, we don’t even know what we’re supposed to be aiming for.
After 12 years of marriage, we’ve noticed two things: either we lose sight of the purpose of marriage along the way, or perhaps, we never really understood it to begin with. And that’s not always our fault—it’s often because marriage isn’t explained well. The stories we’re fed are very different from the true purpose of what God intends for marriage and relationships.
To explore this further, we’re starting a series based on the book Habits and a Healthy Marriage. It addresses the difficulties in marriage and offers virtues that can help us along the way. The book begins by discussing two models of marriage: the traditional Judeo-Christian model and the one shaped by modern culture.
The traditional model views marriage as a sacred union between a man and a woman, aimed at mutual love, raising children, and obtaining eternal life. This model emphasizes that marriage is set apart as a way to grow closer to God.
On the other hand, the media and culture have been feeding us the story of the “soulmate”—someone who will fill all of our emotional needs and bring ultimate satisfaction. This idea is so ingrained in us, from fairy tales to modern romantic narratives, that we may begin to believe that another person can completely fulfill us. But the truth is, no human can carry that weight. The only one who could do that bore the cross for us at Calvary.
Even in the best of marriages, no one person can meet all your needs. That’s not their role. There’s healing that has to happen deep within ourselves, and we must recognize that we are loved for who we are, not for what we do or how well we fulfill each other’s expectations.
We’ve been conditioned to believe that finding the right person will bring happiness, but in reality, marriage requires something deeper. Even if we intellectually understand that marriage is sacred, rewiring our minds from the cultural narratives we’ve absorbed is a long process.
This is where selfishness can become a big obstacle in marriage. It’s natural to have selfish tendencies, but they can prevent us from truly loving each other. I (J) grew up with the “soulmate” mindset, but when I started reading the teachings of the Church, especially from St. John Paul II, I learned something revolutionary: We find ourselves through a sincere gift of ourselves. It’s not about how the other person fulfills us, but about how we serve each other. This mindset shift is crucial for a healthy marriage.
The Christian view of marriage requires a growth mindset. It’s about growing not just in love, but in loving like Christ every day. Marriage isn’t about someone else solving our problems—it’s about both partners taking responsibility to serve each other, and in doing so, growing closer to God.
We love our marriage, but it’s taken work. God wants us to love our spouses and our lives, not just survive them. He promises us life in abundance, and that includes within our marriages. But that requires effort on our part, something we’ll explore more deeply throughout this series.
In this series, we’ll discuss common challenges in marriage like anger, selfishness, control issues, emotional distancing, anxiety, loneliness, communication problems, and even infidelity. Most importantly, we’ll focus on how healing and growth can happen within these struggles.
We’d love to hear from you! What are you most excited about healing in your marriage? How does a renewed understanding of the purpose of marriage help you live your vocation with more joy?
Stay tuned as we dive deeper into these topics, and if you’re ready to learn more about how forgiveness can heal anger, check out our next video in the series!
