Whenever I hear about teen suicide, my heart breaks for the family and community. I remember when I was in college seminary, there was a string of teenage suicides in Northeast Wisconsin, including in my own hometown. I didn’t know any of the families involved and that didn’t stop me from praying for the repose of their souls and the consolation of their families. In my first priestly assignment, I walked with young people as two different suicides occurred. There’s a good chance you know a family of someone who has been impacted by suicide.
A new movie, Butter, released in theatres on February 25th will provide an opportunity for adults to talk to young people about suicide. The main character, an overweight teen nicknamed Butter by his peers hatches a plot to end his own life at the end of the year; the main event would be called Butter’s Last Meal, and he had plans to livestream it. Butter had a few weeks to develop his plan and make others aware of it. Shockingly, his popularity around school increased, and everyone wanted to be his friend. Perhaps unrealistic, no one speaks up about his plans. His friends don’t inform his parents, teachers, or anyone. They just simply go with it, most likely because they don’t take his threat seriously.
Speak Up About Teen Suicide
One of the ways that Butter can help people talk about teen suicide would be to look for the different missed opportunities as the film progresses. We can place ourselves in the situation and identify moments where someone should have spoken up which would have changed the trajectory of the narrative. Butter has a support system in his family, a friend, and a teacher, but he doesn’t make use of them as he ought because he hides the dark thoughts and plans from them. As we follow Butter throughout the movie, one could also look for different warning signs that something wasn’t right as he becomes more withdrawn and reserved from those with whom he is close. Perhaps the greatest lesson from the film for viewers will be, if you see something, tell someone; if you feel like you want to hurt yourself, get help and talk to someone.
Butter will also offer faith leaders an opportunity to address this important issue with teens and young adults. A review of what the Church teaches about suicide, found in the Catechism of the Catholic Church paragraphs 2280-2283 would be a good place to start, emphasizing 2283, which states, “We should not despair of the eternal salvation of persons who have taken their own lives. By ways known to him alone, God can provide the opportunity for salutary repentance. The Church prays for persons who have taken their own lives.”
Everyone is responsible for his life before God who has given it to him. It is God who remains the sovereign Master of life. We are obliged to accept life gratefully and preserve it for his honor and the salvation of our souls. We are stewards, not owners, of the life God has entrusted to us. It is not ours to dispose of.
Suicide contradicts the natural inclination of the human being to preserve and perpetuate his life. It is gravely contrary to the just love of self. It likewise offends love of neighbor because it unjustly breaks the ties of solidarity with family, nation, and other human societies to which we continue to have obligations. Suicide is contrary to love for the living God.
If suicide is committed with the intention of setting an example, especially to the young, it also takes on the gravity of scandal. Voluntary co-operation in suicide is contrary to the moral law.
Grave psychological disturbances, anguish, or grave fear of hardship, suffering, or torture can diminish the responsibility of the one committing suicide.
We should not despair of the eternal salvation of persons who have taken their own lives. By ways known to him alone, God can provide the opportunity for salutary repentance. The Church prays for persons who have taken their own lives.
Catechism of the Catholic Church # 2280–2283
Stories From The Saints
A few other stories from our Catholic tradition provide us hope too. The parish priest of Ars, St. John Vianney, consoled a woman mourning the death of her husband who jumped off a bridge. The woman who sought to speak with the Cure of Ars was told: “I tell you he is saved. He is in Purgatory, and you must pray for him. Between the parapet of the bridge and the water he had time to make an act of contrition. Our Blessed Lady obtained that grace for him. Remember the shrine that you put up in your room during the month of May? Though your husband professed to have no religion, he sometimes joined in your prayers; this merited for him the grace of repentance and pardon at the last moment.”
A similar thought is related to St. Faustina from Jesus himself, who told her that a soul is given three opportunities to repent at the time of death. This is a hope-filled statement for any of us, but especially for those concerned about the soul of a loved one or friend who died by suicide.
For people who have had a family member or friend die from teen suicide, this movie might be triggering, and you may wish not to see it. If you know someone contemplating suicide, tell someone so that person can get the help they need. If you are thinking about suicide, please reach out to someone at the National Suicide Prevention Hotline, at 800-273-8255. The movie Butter is a good reminder for us all that life is worth living, that we are loved, and more people care about us than you could ever imagine.
More Resources From Fr. Edward Looney