You can find images of Mary throughout my day  – tiny figurines on my bookshelves, a TinySaint keychain on my bag, a fun sticker on my laptop or Stanley cup, and even Marian images in my phone camera roll that I stumbled upon and loved. 

I’ve heard that many converts struggle with the Church’s devotion to her, but I never did. I’ve always felt drawn to her. For many years, it was simply that she was this beautiful representation of motherhood. But later, she became an example to me and provided an understanding that loving my family well and keeping my home was holy and sacred work. Then in 2015, I began to see Mary as my own mother – an example, yes, but more than that, she is a spiritual and heavenly Mother who will walk alongside me, listen to me, and intercede for me. 

The Move That Unraveled Everything

In 2013, my husband, Jamie,  and I uprooted our family and moved four hours south of the city I had called home for nearly 40 years. He was offered a job in a small town. After evaluating the situation from every angle, we made the leap. To say the move was not easy would be a gross understatement. We were on a short timeline to move before Jamie’s new job start date. I had not even attempted a job search in the area, but I convinced the company I worked for to allow me to work remotely. In 2013, this was an uncommon arrangement, but I was struggling with the idea of walking away from the job without knowing what lay ahead. I had been with this company for nearly eight years and was compensated well. They agreed to a hybrid situation: three days at home and two days in the office. And so began my weekly eight-hour round-trip commute. 

For 18 months, I made the drive. My marriage and family life suffered. Jamie and I were in the hardest season we have ever had to walk through – harder even than pre-term babies, miscarriage, or financial stress. We were trying our best to hold things together and doing our best not to walk away from each other and the family we’d created. We were isolated in this new town with no community to lean on. To compound matters, in January 2015, my company decided that remote work was no longer working for them. They let me go with a small severance.  I was devastated—and oddly, relieved. As a first-born, hyper-capable, success-driven woman, I didn’t know what to do next. I felt like I’d lost my sense of control, identity, and standing.

Over the next several months, I was trying to repair and rebuild my marriage while searching for what I jokingly called “no-brain” work. My last position was high-stakes and high-pressure. I suffered migraines to the point of needing three prescription medications to manage life. While drawing unemployment, I applied for a few positions I felt were “low-hanging fruit.” Twice I was a finalist, and twice I was told I was overqualified. I was frustrated, confused, and tired.

My Exhausted Prayer

I don’t recall how or where I heard of Mary, Undoer of Knots, but I thought, Why not? Truly, I have nothing to lose. The first day of prayers was an exhausted plea—a wife and mom waving the white flag of defeat. I had all but given up on finding work to contribute to our household and eyed the day on the calendar when unemployment would end—when I randomly decided to check the diocesan website for any open positions I might be qualified for. (Sidenote: We can all agree there was nothing “random” about it!) I hadn’t considered ministry as a career, as my resume was business-focused. But I continued to scroll, looking for anything I might be able to do—and there it was: Administrative Assistant to the Religious Education Department. When I received the offer, it didn’t make financial sense compared to my old job, but I felt at peace about it. Life after has been nothing short of grace unfolding.

Surrendering My Own Knots

I had no idea of the history of the novena I had just prayed. As if guided by grace, in the early 17th century, a German couple on the verge of divorce sought help from a Jesuit priest. He prayed with and for them, asking Mary to undo the knots in their marriage. The couple sustained their marriage, and their grandson had the image of Mary, Undoer of Knots, commissioned in the 18th century—such a beautiful history for this deeply rich prayer. 

Looking back, the knot wasn’t just my broken marriage or job loss—it was pride and fear of failure. It was the need to be seen as successful, even while my interior life was falling apart. This prayer, and Mary, helped me to see that surrendering control was a massive gift.

As a worrywart child, my grandfather had me commit Philippians 4:6 to memory: “Be anxious for nothing…let your requests be made known to God.” I’ve clung to this verse for most of my life. But as a Catholic wife and mom, I realized there are times when I need something more than a verse to recite—I need a mother to walk alongside me. A mother who understands what it means to let go, a mother who can help untie the knots I cannot, a mother who knows the weight of uncertainty, the ache of surrender, and the beauty of trust.

The Rest is History

I have no idea what knots you’re worrying over today, but I do know Mother Mary isn’t afraid of the tangled mess. Just one short year after I accepted the Administrative Assistant position, I shifted into leadership roles within the Church: Director of Adult Faith Formation, later Director of Religious Education, and now Director of Children & Family Ministry. I look back and realize that while the salary will likely never rival that of my former career, I have found something far richer: healing, purpose, and real joy. If you call on Mary, ask for her intercession, and work with her to untie the knots of your life, you may find yourself like me – not with regret, but with wonder – because the path Mary helped me take led to more than I ever expected. And the rest? The rest is history.

Pray The Mary Undoer Of Knots Novena

Dearest Holy Mother, Most Holy Mary, you undo the knots that suffocate your children. Extend your merciful hands to me. I entrust to You today this knot [mention your request here] and all the negative consequences that it provokes in my life.

Mary, Undoer of Knots, pray for me.

Virgin Mary, Mother of fair love, Mother who never refuses to come to the aid of a child in need, Mother whose hands never cease to serve your beloved children because they are moved by the divine love and immense mercy that exist in your heart, cast your compassionate eyes upon me and see the snarl of knots that exists in my life. You know very well how desperate I am, my pain, and how I am bound by these knots. Mary, Mother to whom God entrusted the undoing of the knots in the lives of his children, I entrust into your hands the ribbon of my life. No one, not even the evil one himself, can take it away from your precious care. In your hands there is no knot that cannot be undone. Powerful Mother, by your grace and intercessory power with Your Son and My Liberator, Jesus, take into your hands today this knot.

[Mention your request here]

I beg you to undo it for the glory of God, once for all.

O my Lady, you are the consolation that God gives me, the fortification of my feeble strength, the enrichment of my destitution, and, through the power of Christ, the freedom from my chains.

Hear my plea.

Keep me, guide me, protect me, o safe refuge!

Mary, Undoer of Knots, pray for me.

Amen.

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. 

Finish the Novena at: https://www.praymorenovenas.com/mary-undoer-knots-novena

Image: Photo by Amit Chowdhury on Unsplash