At a first glance, the idea of parenthood and having children is pretty insane. Parenthood is demanding. From the moment of conception till their death, and particularly till they are out of your house, your life is theirs. Grab your bucket, because you better be ready to pour out a lot of love.
Just for starters:
1. The house’s tidiness goes down the drain.
2. The precious hours of sleep suffer constant interruptions, as well as the moments of intimacy.
3. House halls are transformed into lego minefields.
4. The moments of tranquility are few; you never know what your child will do next.
Still, from a Christian standpoint, life itself is a gift. If those who want and choose to have kids are lunatics, God was the first lunatic of all (only He has a much bigger bucket). If we received life as a gift, it only makes sense (in a common-sense sort of way) to make one’s life a gift. Or is this just crazy talk?
The experience of joy, paradoxical by trade, bears the appearance of insanity to those who haven’t the eyes to see it. It is the celebration of life, along with happiness and thankfulness, even in the moments of trial and sacrifice. It is the joy of a life fulfilled in self-giving in love. Far from causing rifts in the relationship, (surely there will be moments of difficulty and tension; this is inevitable in any relationship), it is the glue that allows true bonds to form and consolidate.
Take a look at this Coca Cola commercial (if only all their commercials transmitted the same values!) and you might get an idea of what I am getting out:
This, however, is not the mainstream vision of family life that is often transmitted. For many, put simply, family life is hell. Just to give you an idea, let’s take a look at this ad propagated by Durex, a provider of contraception. (Evidently, we share this video with the sole goal of forming a critical judgment of it.)
In the second video, “Protect Yourself”, life with children is presented as a constant nightmare in which any and every attempt at reaching peace, relaxation, and pleasure are plagued by the animalistic cataclysms inflicted on them by their children.
1. They nullify the pleasure between husband and wife.
2. Under their reign, your home begins to look more like a battlefield than a place of rest after a long day of work.
3. Not even the simplest moments of pleasure – that warm cup of coffee in the morning – escapes their monkey-like endeavors.
Alas, contraception, we are told, offers us the answer to this plague of unhappiness, to this sickness, to this natural flaw, which is having children. Protection, here, is understood as the protection of what is most important and essential to human life – the search for gratification.
Don’t get me wrong, family life can feel quite purgatory-like sometimes and there is no doubt that it limits you, but many times our happiness lies precisely in how we embrace those limits.
What I find most striking about this contrast, is that relatively speaking, we have the same situation but two completely different mentalities. One a glorified version of egoism, the other an adventure of generosity. When you saw the look of concern break out into an ecstatic expression of joy on the father’s face (first video), what did you feel? Is such a joyful generosity not contagious? Perhaps this is what we as Christians, as apostles, need to transmit to a world sickly obsessed with its depressing egoism.
I wonder if too often, we try to convince and persuade by using statistics, psychological studies, etc. All of these have their place; however, the goal of an apostle is always the heart, not just the exterior behavior. This is because the roots of all moral weakness or blindness live in the brain but is rooted in the heart. A heartsick with egoism will rarely accept arguments that demand of it a conversion. As such, one must not only be aware of the disagreements at hand, but also the reason why these disagreements exist. Why does this person have difficulty accepting certain teaching? What experiences or influences have led him or her to believe such and such?
The questions underlying so many polemic issues today are: What brings happiness and fulfillment to our lives? What does the human heart desire? What can fulfill this mysterious organ that never ceases to impulse towards somewhere, towards something greater, towards a horizon unseen and untouched? Christ, by words and actions, reveals the answer in his Incarnation, his Crucifixion, and his Resurrection. The horizon for which the heart longs is love, an infinite love. This love is not, however, utter self-gratification; it is, rather, utter self-giving in communion.
- 4th Sunday Of Lent Gospel Reflection John 9:1-41
Facebook Pinterest Gmail LinkedIn Print Friendly This reflection is an excerpt from The Liturgical Sense of the Readings at Mass (Year A). Click here to purchase! As Jesus passed by he saw a man blind from birth.His disciples asked him,“Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”Jesus answered,“Neither he nor his parents… Read more: 4th Sunday Of Lent Gospel Reflection John 9:1-41 - As A Catholic Parent, Here’s How I Guide My Kids When They’re Afraid
Facebook Pinterest Gmail LinkedIn Print Friendly Most of our fears as young kids revolve around nighttime. As we grow up, the tools we’re taught stay with us. Whether you’ve got young ones or older ones (or fears yourself), you can keep it simple with these ways my husband and I fight fears with our kids. What… Read more: As A Catholic Parent, Here’s How I Guide My Kids When They’re Afraid - How Many Catholics Have Won the Nobel Peace Prize?
Facebook Pinterest Gmail LinkedIn Print Friendly Throughout history, Catholics—both religious and lay—have actively engaged in efforts to end war, poverty, hunger, and injustice. From vastly different disciplines and corners of the world, they have placed their lives at the service of peace, following Jesus’ command: “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called children… Read more: How Many Catholics Have Won the Nobel Peace Prize? - 3rd Sunday Of Lent Reflection: Do You Trust Jesus?
Facebook Pinterest Gmail LinkedIn Print Friendly Jesus came to a town of Samaria called Sychar, near the plot of land that Jacob had given to his son Joseph.Jacob’s well was there.Jesus, tired from his journey, sat down there at the well.It was about noon. A woman of Samaria came to draw water.Jesus said to her,“Give me… Read more: 3rd Sunday Of Lent Reflection: Do You Trust Jesus? - Redemptive Suffering: Uncovering The “Hidden Treasure” Of Suffering
Facebook Pinterest Gmail LinkedIn Print Friendly “It all just feels so pointless.” A few days into Lent, a good friend shared these words with me about the practices she decided to adopt for the season. This friend, enduring a time of trial in her life, felt incapable of doing anything grand for the penitential season,… Read more: Redemptive Suffering: Uncovering The “Hidden Treasure” Of Suffering
