It’s easy to picture (and perhaps you’ve seen it), your teenager sighs, rolls their eyes, and says, “Do we have to go to Mass this weekend? Church is just so boring…” 

And there you are, in the middle of one of the most common conundrums for Catholic parents today. You love your teen. You love your faith. But with that statement, you now recognize that there’s a disconnect between the two. So, what do you do? 

Do you fire back with your best defense? Hope it’s just a phase? Wonder if you’ve done something wrong? The truth is, you wouldn’t be alone in any of those responses. These tend to be where we go when we face a challenge we’re not sure how to address. 

But, if you’ve tried to implement any of those strategies, you know that none of them achieve exactly what you’re hoping for. And here’s why—they attempt to address an issue, when they should be addressing a relationship. This issue can be proven wrong. This issue will go away in time. This issue could have been avoided. And although this all might be true, each of these statements is missing something fundamental—the problem isn’t the discontentment; it’s the disconnection. 

Let me offer this teaser – what if you addressed the above scenario (whether projected or real) through the lens of relationship development, instead of through the lens of issue resolution? You’re in relationship with your teen. You’re in relationship with Jesus and His Church. And now, your hope is to bring those two relationships together. 

Below are five things you can do when your teen says being Catholic is boring. Each is designed to build relationship—first, between you and your teen; then, between your teen and their peers; and finally, between your teen and the Lord. 

5 Things To Do When Your Teen Says Being Catholic Is Boring 

1. Don’t panic – just listen. 

Silence any alarm bells. Nothing is burning to the ground, I promise. Your teen is simply sharing what they are feeling in the moment. And that’s a good thing. 

Let’s take interest in that. When you first hear it, “Church is so boring…”, resist the urge to defend, correct, or dismiss. Instead, pause. Prompt: “Tell me more about that. What do you think makes it boring for you?” (And if you’re anything like my family and you’re rushing out the door to get to Mass on time, wait to prompt that question on the way to Church.) Then, listen—and genuinely listen. What are they trying to communicate?

After that, ask follow-up questions, commit to coming back to it, and let it be for now. 

Here’s the truth—you usually can’t fix a feeling in the moment, because the expression of a feeling isn’t the same as looking for an answer. They’re looking to share something. Take interest in what they’re sharing, while maintaining commitment to going to Church. 

This will show two things – 1) their thoughts are important to you and 2) going to Church is important for your family. 

In the first, you engage in relationship with them. In the second, they engage in relationship with you. Now we’re getting somewhere—even if it doesn’t feel like it. 

2. Discover amazement again – together. 

When was the last time you were amazed? Not surprised, but amazed. 

If that’s hard for you to think of, do you think it’s fair to think that it might be hard for your teen, too? In the world we live in today, amazement is at a premium. With the answer to seemingly everything at our fingertips, we can forget that we were made to be amazed. 

Our faith is founded on amazement—God, who needs nothing, wanted us enough to create us, to remain with us even after we rejected Him, and to bring us back to Himself fully through the passion, death, and resurrection of Jesus. That’s amazing! 

And when we lose that amazement, we lose something critical to the faith. 

So, what if you engaged the amazing things of the faith with your teen, trying to relate it to their interests? If they’re artistic, visit a beautiful church together. If they’re active and adventurous, consider the story of great saints who did amazing things. If they’re curious and inquisitive, consider the Shroud of Turin or Eucharistic miracle stories. Use these as opportunities for time together, and for conversation. 

When they see you amazed by things, they have permission to be amazed by things, and amazing things, when done right, connect us to God. They breathe life into the routines that may have felt mundane before, like Mass. 

Wait, all of the angels and saints are present at every Mass? How is that even possible? The small gifts that we bring up the aisle are transformed into Jesus Himself? If He can do that with bread and wine, what can He do with me? 

3. Seek relevant reinforcement.

There’s a powerful shift that happens in adolescence: peer voices begin to really matter. That’s why the community around you matters. That’s why youth groups matter. And that’s why programs, like the ones that we run at Damascus, matter. Young people are far more likely to embody their parents’ values when they see them echoed in their peer group, and in relevant role models outside of the home. 

So, seek relevant reinforcement. Get together with families who share common values with you. Get your teen involved in a youth group with their friends. Sign them up for summer camp with well-vetted, encounter-with-Jesus-based ministries. 

These environments will validate the faith as dynamic and real! 

4. Invite them into the wrestle. 

With these things in place, be transparent: faith isn’t always emotionally charged. 

Sometimes, it’s a grind. Sometimes, it’s a struggle. But struggle isn’t failure—it’s part of the journey. After all, anything worth doing is worth the trials and tribulations that come with it. Normalize questions, doubts, and boredom. Share any of your own spiritual struggles and any of your own seasons of dryness. Reference the saints who experienced spiritual difficulties, like Mother Teresa, in her decades of spiritual darkness. And teach your teen how to bring those feelings to God. 

Invite them to wrestle through doubt, not to avoid it. An authentic relationship with God grows not from peak experiences alone, but from faithfulness through the flat ones, too. 

5. Show more than tell. 

This one is simple. Love Jesus. Love His Church. Love your teenager. 

And demonstrate it through actions—not just in words. No matter how articulate or loving your words are, your life speaks volumes. If your teen sees you praying, serving the family or the community, going to Confession, or loving others—especially in the monotony of everyday living, they witness faith in action. That doesn’t mean you have to be a perfect example, but it does mean that you need to live your faith out loud. 

So, when your teenager says, “Being Catholic is boring,” resist panic. Instead, listen with care, rediscover amazement with your son/daughter, and introduce them to supportive, faith-filled peers and role models. Invite them into the journey of faith, and model the faith you hope they’ll embrace. Through this process, you’re not merely fixing their boredom, you’re reconnecting them to the deepest, most meaningful relationship. 

Damascus is a missionary movement that partners with the work of the Holy Spirit to bring revival to the Catholic Church in America. Learn more at  https://www.damascus.net/.

Image: Photo by Jayalekshman SJ on Unsplash