Navigating our spiritual journey often involves conversations with others who have faced similar experiences. For me, having Catholic friends, family, and advisors has been crucial in discovering what being Catholic means in today’s world. However, relying solely on others’ advice can sometimes be misleading, as faith is experienced differently, and our religious beliefs have numerous interpretations. Here are four pieces of bad advice I’ve encountered and what I’ve learned to be the true teaching behind them.
1. Regarding Vocation: “Vocation means God’s call to marriage or to a consecrated life.”
We’ve all heard that vocation is about being “called” to something. God has a mission for each of us, a plan envisioned since before we were born. Our role seems to be figuring out what that is and pursuing it. However, this concept is often reduced to a binary choice: marriage or consecrated life. For years, this was the only understanding I had of vocation. Whenever I prayed about my vocation, I’d panic, begging God not to call me to consecrated life because I really wanted to get married. And that was the end of it.
What a waste of prayers! Gradually, I realized this view was reductive of our human nature and of God’s dreams for us. I’ve come to understand – and I’m still understanding – that we are all ultimately called to Heaven. It is our final destination. To get there and to experience Heaven on Earth, we are called to love and be loved. Following Saint Augustine’s advice to “Love and do whatever you please,” God allows us to choose our vocation in a complete exercise of our free will. Essentially, we can choose any path as long as it leads to perfect Love (Catechism, 1700; Mt 5,48).
Now… over time, I also discovered that God is deeply interested in the specific path I choose. As a loving and all-knowing Father, He wants to be involved in my vocation. God is passionate about my happiness and holiness, more than anyone else could ever be. He is the first dreamer of my dreams (Jeremiah 15)! This same God gave us the Beatitudes, which express the vocation of the faithful and guide our actions and attitudes as Christians (Catechism, 1717). These are diverse paths, addressed personally to each of us and to the whole Church (Catechism, 1719), marked by our service to others and the common good. Thus, every vocation in the Church has its origin in the compassionate gaze of Jesus.
God invites each of us to walk a specific path with Him, according to our identity, personality and talents. This is what the Church refers to as specific or particular vocations. He calls some to the ministerial priesthood, others to religious life, and others to encounter Him in ordinary life (Catechism, 1716-1729, 1533). Within those lives, He continually inspires our free will to pursue particular professions, people and places. To fulfill our vocation, we must cultivate and grow all that we are. Our vocation directs us to bring out the best in us for the glory of God and the good of others.
From what I have learned, searching for my vocation is an ongoing journey. For instance, after my husband and I chose to live our vocation by loving each other daily through marriage, we began asking God and ourselves what our particular vocation as a married couple would be (as Pope Francis said, the vocation is a dream of the“us”). We are still figuring this out through prayer, dialogue, spiritual direction, self-improvement, and, of course, through life itself. This brings me to my second piece of (bad) advice.
2. Regarding discernment: “It is God’s Will. Period.”
Discernment is a vast topic that requires several articles, books, and retreats. However, I want to highlight how we, as Catholics, can err in interpreting and naming God’s will. Invoking God’s will and our knowledge of it to justify actions or decisions can end badly. I’ve heard it used by boys to convince girls to date them, by people (and the media) when inexplicable tragedies occur, or to excuse someone’s poor choices. As much as a priest, spiritual director, professor, or scholar might know about the Catholic faith and God’s mind, His will remains largely a mystery to be uncovered personally.
How? God’s will isn’t a crystal ball, nor does it resemble a horoscope. God’s will begins first and foremost with a friendship (Christus Vivit Exhortatio), an intimate relationship with constant communication where each knows the other’s heart and strives to fulfill its deepest desires. So how do we discern beyond the simplistic “it is or was God’s will”? In my life, I’ve found that the more time I spend in prayer, reading the Gospel, seeking the Sacraments, and living in service to others, the easier it becomes to discern what God wants from me and to accept whatever that is.
The Bible tells us that God’s voice is heard in calmness, in attention, in silence. The Lord speaks to the prophet Elijah not in the wind that breaks stones, not in the fire or the earthquake, but in a gentle breeze (1 Kings 19,11). I’ve also learned that He speaks through my own desires and fears because it is through my freedom that He wants me to live and love. Again and again, I’ve found that He simply lets me choose, adhering to my decision as long as it is oriented towards love. And when things go wrong, when there is confusion, pain, or disappointment, I’ve found that His will not only permits some evils but transforms them so that greater good and holiness can emerge.
Finally, the Holy Spirit is the great messenger of God’s will. If we lower our arms, stop doing, doing, and doing spiritual deeds, and just remain in His presence to receive His gifts, we’ll discover new paths. The Holy Spirit not only enables us to see Light but also enlightens us to face life’s choices with hearts connected to His. He is the one who moves us forward, changes us, and makes us grow.
3. Regarding doctrine: “You shouldn’t do that, because that is what the doctrine says.”
I get it. Doctrine needs to be conveyed simply, especially to children or those new to the faith. Additionally, we don’t always have the spiritual maturity to fully understand the Church’s laws. Sometimes, to begin a relationship with God, we need to trust the Church’s teachings and practice the virtue of obedience.
However, some Catholics advise strictly by the doctrine, as if obedience were the sole virtue necessary for holiness. As if following a list of rules were enough to grow in friendship with God. As if God were more a ruler than a loving Father. From the experiences of both cradle Catholics and converts around me, this approach doesn’t foster a deep experience of our faith.
Jesus repeatedly speaks in the Gospel about the meaning of the Law and how it is an important but not the only aspect of the path He came to announce. “For from His fullness we have all received grace upon grace. For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ” (John 1,16). He is the Messiah who didn’t come to abolish the Law or the Prophets but to fulfill them (Matthew 5,17). He was able to reduce a long list of rules to just one commandment: Love one another as ourselves, as He has loved us. That’s a pretty high standard, but it’s simple and clear.
This one commandment is made flesh in our daily lives through the moral law, where God acts as a Father and teaches us how to live a meaningful and fulfilling life in a way that leads to the promised blessedness both on Earth and in Heaven. For this, the law also forbids the ways of evil that distance us from God and His love. “It is at the same time firm in its precepts and kind in its promises” (Catechism 1950).
This is why the law, by itself, is pointless. Once we start growing spiritually, we realize that God’s pedagogy begins in love, not in fear, and then becomes doctrine through the Holy Spirit’s action. Where is the clearest guide to finding this connection? I recommend meditating on the Sermon on the Mount to discover how Jesus is calling each of us to obey His Word (Matthew, 5-7). I also recommend receiving the Sacraments, which give us the grace to desire His will in our lives. This shift in understanding moral and spiritual rules reflects a deeper shift in our relationship with God: we were servants, and now we have become His friends (John 15:15; Catechism 1966-1977).
The best news is that while rules are limited and compliance can be technically a finite task, the Christian who follows the rule of love is never content to give only what is required. It is a never-ending journey where our hearts, our closeness to the Divine, and our happiness can always continue to grow. The way of love is infinitely abundant (Catechism 1974).
4. Regarding living in the world: “social injustices, politics, the economy, climate change… those things should not be mixed with our faith”.
I’m sure we’ve all heard both Catholic and non-Catholic friends and family talk about religion as a separate sphere of our lives. There’s the economic, the political, the social, the cultural… and somewhere down the line, there’s the spiritual or religious. I’ve even said so myself many times. “What is this priest doing speaking about x or y in Mass?” There’s general advice to “stick to religion,” but this is extremely problematic. It moves our religious practices to the corner, the space of private prayer spaces, of that one hour on Sundays.
And I get it. There is a fear, with significant historical reasons, of the Church being too involved in political and economic decisions, of embedding in power dynamics that might – and have in the past – make it corrupt or too earthly. There is also the fear of religion being used to manipulate people into ideologies that limit their freedom. And these are important threats that we should not ignore.
What is Catholicism to begin with? Is it our creed, our doctrine, our sacraments? It’s all of this and so much more! The truth of the matter is that Jesus and the Church never ask us to compartmentalize our lives but to let the teachings of the Gospel be the guide and reference point for our entire life. The Gospels do not show Jesus as just a spiritual leader. He didn’t come to teach us some prayers and rituals. Our God is not a private God, who only lives in Heaven, in our hearts and our Temples. He created this world and saw it was good (Genesis, 1), He inhabits every part of it. “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son so that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life” (John, 3,16). Jesus walked the streets of the Earth, healed the sick, questioned the rich and powerful, took care of his friends and family, denounced the injustices of his time.
And the Church, as Jesus’ spouse, does the same. It commands us to be active members of society, which is essential to the fulfillment of the human vocation (Catechism, 1886). As Saint John XXIII wrote, through human society “in the bright light of truth, men should share their knowledge, be able to exercise their rights and fulfill their obligations, be inspired to seek spiritual values; mutually derive genuine pleasure from the beautiful, of whatever order it be (…) These benefits not only influence, but at the same time give aim and scope to all that has bearing on cultural expressions, economic, and social institutions, political movements and forms, laws, and all other structures by which society is outwardly established and constantly developed”.
The first believers lived, preached, and died for Christ in an age when social, cultural, and political issues could hardly be separated from one another. The Church’s teachings are still as relevant today as they were 2,000 years ago and touch all aspects of our lives. It is through a sound understanding of Catholic Social Teaching that we can act upon the Church’s mission to be a sign and safeguard of the human person’s transcendent dignity. As a result, the Church’s teachings are indeed the foundation of the political, social, economic, and cultural dimensions of life (Catechism, 1913). Our faith is something we must carry into our homes, our workplaces, and into the world. The Gospel of Christ is the truth that sets us free, and it calls us to be the salt of the earth and the light of the world in everything we do. And that is why the Church constantly stands up against injustices and evil, advocating for the dignity of every human person.
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I hope that you find these pieces of bad advice – and their counterparts of good advice – useful. There are, of course, other ways to interpret and answer them. When in doubt, consult the Catechism, a spiritual director you trust, and, last but not least, the Holy Spirit Himself, who will undoubtedly give you the best possible advice in living your faith to the fullest.
Image: Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash
