One of the biggest challenges facing Catholic parents today is trying to navigate tricky conversations about everything body-related with our kids.

I work in menstrual cycle education– I first started as an NFP teacher about a decade ago, but slowly expanded into Catholic-based education for girls, teens, and single women as well. One of the most common questions I get from Catholic parents is: “How do I help my daughter understand that her body is good, even if her periods are really awful?” 

During puberty, it’s a very common thing for girls (and boys, of course, too) to feel that their bodies are suddenly awkward, annoying, and kind of confusing. They may not be comfortable with the changes they are experiencing– so how can we help them through this, especially if we’re not always comfortable in our own bodies?

Root Your Children In Identity

As Catholic parents, I think there are actually two primary concerns at play: the first is the immediate need for positive, accurate information to give our kids about pubertal changes. It’s important to address the practical aspects of navigating new and uncomfortable body changes. For that, we can draw on books, video courses, parent-child education events, or any number of other resources. Every kid, regardless of their faith background, deserves to learn about how his or her body works.

But the second concern goes much deeper than that. Catholic parents also want to know we can root our children in their identity as a son or daughter of God. The Church urges us always towards a deeper understanding of our bodies as part of the way people uniquely image God (Genesis 1:27) in creation. A male or female body is actually integral to God’s design for us as uniquely loved individuals, and certainly that includes the specific bodily functions associated with maleness or femaleness… but it must go beyond mere biology. It must eventually invite us to discover the meaning of that maleness and femaleness in God’s design. This, I believe, is the fundamental way we are called to shepherd our children through all of the ups and downs of living in a finite, limited, definitely imperfect human body. 

So when parents come to me for encouragement, I do have particular ways I invite them to speak about bodies and bodily functions with their children. Specifically for parents of girls, I have video courses and books to help with menstrual cycle and period education. 

But I also encourage all parents to think more about the big picture: beyond specific bodily functions, how can we help our children understand what JPII calls the “Language of the Body” or the “sacramentality of the body?”

In other words: how do we teach our children how to have (and expect from other!) proper reverence for our bodies? If that component is in place in addition to biological knowledge about their bodies, our kids will often be able to experience puberty with less anxiety because they will know what to expect, why it is happening, and how this plays into God’s bigger plan for their lives.

To lay the groundwork for this, I do have a quick little video series for families called “Made in His Image: Pint-Sized Theology of the Body for Catholic Families.” It’s a nice way to pave the way for all sorts of conversations down the road, and to invite our kids into the rich deposit of teaching about the body in our Catholic faith. 

In the follow up to those videos, parents receive an email including some suggested activities to do with their kids– just to solidify these concepts and keep the conversations flowing. 

One of my favorite things is to pray and contemplate this idea of the “Language of the Body” through a classic work of art. It’s great for speaking about bodies and instilling reverence and respect both in younger kids who may not be ready for a direct puberty conversation yet, and our slightly older ones who may shy away when we bring up body-related topics. 

Using Art To Guide Your Child In The Language Of The Body

If this sounds like something that could help you start conversations with your kids, why not try a little exercise with William-Adolphe Bouguereau’s painting, Maternal Adoration? You can use the following questions and reflections as a guide to walk through this painting with your child:

William-Adolphe Bouguereau, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons

Who is in this painting?
Children’s answers may be literal or interpretive! They may simply observe that it is a mother with her baby. Or they may observe that this looks like Mary with Jesus. If they make the second point, you can ask what makes them think that the woman is Mary? You could also ask why they assume it is a mother and a child, not some random woman with a baby. What about their body language actually tells you about their relationship?

How does the woman feel in this portrait? How can you tell?
The word “adoration” is in the title, so children may come up with that word right away, or they may say that she loves her baby, feels peaceful with her baby, is in awe of her baby, or any number of positive emotions. They may not be able to articulate right away why they feel that way, so you can direct them to look at her eyes (where is her gaze?), the softness in her facial expression (a gentle smile), and the tender way she pulls back the blanket to see her baby’s face. 

How does the baby feel in this portrait? How can you tell?
This baby feels sleepy, of course! But the baby also is relaxed and feels comfortable in his or her mother’s arms. The soft expression hints at a smile. But you can also look at how the baby is adorned: warm, cozy, and soft blankets enfold this child. The baby is plump which means he or she is well-fed. This baby has all of its needs taken care of. 

What colors are used in this image? How do they make you feel?
Our Church uses colors to symbolize important things. Red is for the Holy Spirit, and also the blood of Jesus and the martyrs. Gold and white are colors for big feast days and celebrations. Green is for ordinary time. Now that you know that, does that change any of how you feel or what you think about this image? 

This mother and child are “speaking the Truth” with their bodies, showing the unique way they give and receive love from each other. How are we called to give and receive love in our families, at various ages?
The concept of “speaking the Truth” with our bodies means that we use our bodies to outwardly express interior truths: things like, “I love you.” “I respect you.” “I am here to serve you.” This is an opportunity to broaden the conversation and talk about how things like embraces change as we grow: for example, my teenager cannot fit into my arms like this anymore! And maybe some day that little child will be all grown and caring for his or her mother in her old age. You can also discuss the different ways we show love within the family (hugs and kisses) versus how we act with people that we don’t know. 

Your children may not immediately see how reflecting on postures, facial expressions, or properly showing love with our bodies has anything to do with the changes that come during puberty. But the Church wisely recommends that all of these concepts (both the biological and the spiritual!) are ways that we can form our children for their vocation, because “a healthy culture of the body leads to accepting oneself as a gift and as an incarnated spirit, called to be open to God and society.” (see: THE TRUTH AND MEANING OF HUMAN SEXUALITY: Guidelines for Education within the Family, #106)

Image: William-Adolphe Bouguereau, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons