Lust is more than a personal weakness or a private struggle—it is a direct assault on the sacredness of the human person, on marriage, on family, and ultimately, on the very image of God. Among the seven deadly sins, lust uniquely wounds not only the soul of the individual but also the relationships and culture around them. It darkens the mind, hardens the heart, and distorts our ability to love.

Yet the story doesn’t end there. In Jesus Christ, there is not only mercy for the sinner, but power for transformation—the ability to see rightly, love rightly, and become who we were created to be.

Lust: A False Promise of Love

Lust is not about sex — it is a distortion of love. It takes the gift of of what God made for union and openness to new life within marriage and tears it from the context of self-giving. Lust promises connection but leaves one in isolation. Lust offers freedom but delivers addiction. Lust sells love but enslaves users.

The Catechism (CCC 2351) calls lust a “disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure.” That disorder happens when desire is separated from the dignity of the person and the responsibilities of love. Lust makes the other into a means to an end, where the body becomes an object, and the value of person is ignored.

Worst of all? The one being used is often ourselves.

Lust wounds our self-image, our capacity for trust, and our ability to see ourselves and others as God does.

Chastity: Reclaiming the Truth About Love

Chastity is not about abstaining from sex (it may involve abstaining, depending upon our state of life); ultimately, it is about learning how to love. It teaches us to integrate our sexuality into the whole of our personality so that we can give ourselves completely and honestly.

Chastity forms us in freedom—not license to do whatever we want, but freedom to live what is good, true, and life-giving. It allows us to master our desires rather than being enslaved by them.

Jesus said, “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God” (Matt. 5:8). Chastity doesn’t just purify behavior—it purifies vision. When we are chaste, we can see rightly. We are empowered with redeemed vision of the body as holy, the other as a gift, and our lives as a vocation to self-donative love.

God’s Plan for Love: Free, Total, Faithful, Fruitful

God’s vision for love, especially within marriage, reflects His own nature. As St. John Paul II taught, human love is called to mirror the divine love of the Trinity:

• Free – not controlled by lust or fear
• Total – holding nothing back as a complete gift of self
• Faithful – exclusive and permanent
• Fruitful – open to life and generative love

These are not burdens or ideals for “perfect people.” They are the blueprint written into our very nature and the goal of every heart.

The Devastation of Lust

When lust enters the picture, it ruptures God’s plan for our lives. It turns self-gift into self-gratification, disconnecting love from responsibility. It separates sex from its sacred context, reducing it to a transaction or a mere thrill.

The consequences of lust are not only personal—they are cultural, spiritual, and generational.

1. Broken Marriages

Lust lays the foundation for conditional love: “I love you as long as you satisfy me.” In a marriage rooted in lust, there is little room for sacrifice or suffering. When the spark fades, so does the commitment.

2. Pornography Addiction

Lust is especially devastating to human relationships because of the plague of pornography. As we share frequently in Freedom Coaching, science confirms what the Church has always taught: porn rewires the brain, deadens the heart, and ruins the ability to form real relationships, leaving users numb, ashamed, and often isolated. It also feeds a billion-dollar industry built on exploitation and trafficking. The Western world is littered with marriages where attachment to pornography has destroyed these unions.

3. Abortion and the Devaluation of Life

When sex is divorced from its unitive and procreative purposes, children become unwanted consequences and abortion becomes an option. Lust trains a person to avoid commitment and responsibility, and this mindset ultimately leads to the rejection of life itself. The hundreds of millions of children murdered by surgical and chemical abortion reveal another ugly face of lust.

4. Shame, Identity Loss, and Despair

Lust darkens the soul. Over time, the person caught in its web begins to see themselves as broken, dirty, or beyond redemption. The devil uses these lies to deepen the cycle: sin, shame, hiding, sin again. This despair can be crippling, keeping one from healthy relationships and even putting one’s eternal salvation in jeopardy.

Freedom Is Possible: Healing Through Grace

If lust has been a problem in your life, and you’re doubting you can break free, fear not. There is a way out.

The Sacraments: God’s Plan for Real Change

God does not merely want to forgive you—He wants to heal you. The Sacraments of the Catholic Church are not empty rituals; they are encounters with Jesus Christ that bring about real transformation.

Confession: Mercy That Restores

In Confession, Jesus meets us at our lowest and lifts us with His mercy. He removes the guilt of sin and pours in grace to begin again. The confessional is not a courtroom—it is a hospital for the soul.

All the penitent needs to do is go into a little box, be honest, and they will hear the most beautiful words of all from the priest – “I absolve you of your sins, in the Name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit.” And the person is FREE. He is given Sacramental grace of restoration in right relationship with God and empowered with divine power to love.

Let’s be clear: Lust is an attachment that is not easily defeated. Thus be not discouraged if you find yourself returning to this Sacrament frequently. This is OK. As many times as you return seeking mercy you will receive His mercy. Such acts of humility are offerings of love, and you will be picked back up to enter once again the battle for true love.

“Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be white as snow.” – Isaiah 1:18

The Eucharist: Union With the God of Purity

When we receive the Eucharist, we are physically united to the Body of Jesus Christ—the very model of pure, total, self-giving love. In the Eucharist, our hearts are strengthened, our vision is purified, and we are empowered to love rightly. Frequent reception of the Eucharist, when done in a state of grace, is one of the most powerful antidotes to lust.

As Saint John Paul II shared, “The Eucharist is the Sacrament of the Bridegroom and the Bride.” Here the Divine Bridegroom Jesus Christ gives all of Himself to His wounded, broken Bride the Church to strengthen her for the journey with the total unity lust can never provide. The Bread of Life is what will sustain you and help you to weather the moments you are assailed by vicious darts of lust thrown by the evil one.

Adoration: Beholding to Become

Sitting in silence before the Blessed Sacrament reorders our hearts. When we behold the beauty of Jesus, present in the Holy Sacrament of the altar, we begin to desire what is holy, good, and true. Adoration is a retraining of our vision—learning to see through the eyes of love.

In Adoration, the naked Christ is unveiled to us, which is the ultimate answer to all of the nakedness foisted upon viewers in pornography. By baring our soul in these classroom of silence, opening up the ache for real love, Love Himself will meet us there. The beauty that we have been programmed to seek through lust will be actually given to us under the disguise of leavened bread. Make no mistake: Jesus is REALLY present and waiting for you to enter into spiritual communion with Him.

Strategies to Defeat Lust

1. Renew Your Mind

Fill your mind with Scripture, Church teaching, and stories of hope. Romans 12:2 urges us to be “transformed by the renewing of your mind.” What we feed our minds will shape our desires. This habit of focus on what is true, good, and beautiful is critically important to develop, as the AI revolution is upon us, creating confusion between what is real love and what is an imposter.

2. Heal the Wounds Beneath the Sin

Lust often covers deeper wounds: rejection, loneliness, father wounds, betrayal, etc. Ask the Lord to reveal what lies beneath the surface. Invite Him into the root, not just the behavior. All unchaste behavior is simply a cover job for real needs that have been frustrated by the brokenness of life. Be not afraid – open these to the One Who knows you and your deepest longings for real intimacy and communion.

3. Train Your Body and Soul

Practice fasting. Limit your screen time. Take cold showers. Learn to say no to small comforts so you can say yes to greater sacrifices. The body is not your enemy—but it must be trained in virtue. Real relationships require sacrifice. Start now. For if you cannot say no to your fallen desires, how are you supposed to say yes to real love?

4. Guard Your Eyes and Imagination

What enters the eyes enters the heart. Use filters. Avoid suggestive media. Be vigilant—not out of fear, but out of reverence for the holiness of others and your own dignity. What is being offered through the myriad of lustful images on social media is fake and can never satisfy your longings for real love. Thus, don’t settle. Call on grace to give you discernment to aggressively pursue the REAL, choose the good, and give evil the boot.

5. Accountability and Support

Find a spiritual director, mentor, or a group of men or women walking the same path. Being cut off from others in embodied situations (where we are physically present with others) is the breeding ground for sin; community is the greenhouse for growth. Moving from isolation to communion is one of the keys to longterm healthy relationships and is essential for developing the muscle of loving in self-sacrificial ways. This is a daily challenging quest that you are called to pursue and is the way to fulfillment.

The Saints Show Us the Way

• St. Augustine once lived a life of wild lust and despair, but after years of searching, he found peace in Christ. His words ring true for every sinner: “You have made us for Yourself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in You.”

• St. Mary Magdalene was healed by Jesus and became a passionate disciple. Her story is a testament to the power of redemption.

• St. Mary of Egypt was a notorious sinner turned devout hermit who, after a profound conversion in Jerusalem, spent nearly 50 years in the desert in repentance and prayer.

• St. Joseph is as a model of masculine purity, humility, and strength. He guarded Mary and Jesus with a chaste heart full of love.

You Are Not Your Lust

The devil wants you to believe that your sin defines you. But that’s a lie. You are not your mistakes. You are not your temptations. You are not your past.

You are a son. You are a daughter. You were made for love. You were made for freedom. You were made for glory. In Jesus Christ, you can begin again—not just by trying harder, but by receiving His grace, engaging the Sacraments, and learning to love with a redeemed vision and heart.

“If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” – 2 Corinthians 5:17

Your homework assignment

Go to Adoration. Take some time to reflect on these questions to see where you are in the battle against lust. Just be honest with Jesus and let Him guide the discussion.

What do I believe about my own body and the bodies of others?

• Have I internalized the idea that the body is sacred and meant for love—or do I see it more as an object, a temptation, or something shameful? How is God calling me to live differently?

How has lust affected my relationship with God, myself, or others?

• Are there moments or habits where I’ve chosen self-gratification over self-gift? What are the ways that are keeping me from real relationships?

Where am I seeking fulfillment apart from God’s plan?

• What desires, wounds, or insecurities might be feeding lust in my life? How am I not allowing Jesus into my erotic desires?

Do I view chastity as repression or as a path to real freedom?

• What lies or cultural messages have shaped my understanding of love, sex, and freedom? What attachments do I have to technology that are hindering my ability to move forward in genuine freedom?

This article was originally published HERE.

Steve Pokorny is the Founder of Freedom Coaching, a one-to-one mentoring system designed to break the power of pornified images in both men and women. His book, Redeemed Vision: Setting the Blind Free from the Pornified Culture, is available from Amazon.

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