Did you ever think your high school or college relationship would result in marriage? I know I would be lying if I said that I did not think that myself. I might have said publicly, “Young relationships usually don’t last,” but in my heart of hearts, I would dream. This is the story of how my relationship with my now-husband led us to get married young.

My husband and I receive shocked, even horrified, looks when we share that we got married at 20 and 21. Although it is not as popular today as it once was, young marriages used to be the norm. In 1960 the average age for marriage was between 20-22 while today it is averaged at ages over 28-30 (United States Census Bureau). So, why did society shift drastically, and how did my husband and I decide to marry so young? Keep reading to find out!

Getting Married Young & The Catholic Church

Let’s get a clearer picture of what society’s focus was when getting married young was expected. History shows us that society once nurtured family formation within a religious context (Thornton). Religion was the “cookie-cutter”, if you will, of society. Young marriages go hand-in-hand with religion for many reasons. I’ll provide a few examples of this:

1. Marriage is a sacred vocation within the Catholic Church.

 The word “vocation” is derived from the Latin word “vocatio,” which literally means “a calling” (Harper). The Catechism of the Catholic Church tells us that “From his conception, [man] is destined for eternal beatitude” (Catechism of the Catholic Church 1703). This means that man is made for communion with God, and marriage is a pathway to achieving that.

2. The Catholic faith presents marriage as a path to holiness.

Marriage is sanctifying. In the Old Testament, sacrifices were slaughtered upon the altar within the Temple. Similarly, the focal point of every Catholic Church is the altar, where bread and wine truly become Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity; Our eyes might look up and see the Host raised, but in reality, we are brought to Calvary where we look up and see the sacrifice of our Lord. This is why it is called the sacrifice of the Mass. It is of the utmost importance that marriage takes place upon the altar. Spouses must lay down their lives as a sacrifice for one another. This doesn’t just mean pushing each other out of oncoming traffic and getting hit yourself; it can look like the mundane task of doing the dishes with great love when you don’t feel like it, or filling the other’s water glass when it’s empty. Marriage requires selflessness, constant love, and sacrifice. In this sanctifying process, each spouse becomes holier.

3. Adulthood is an opportunity for holiness by way of family formation.

Family formation is an opportunity for holiness. While modern society highlights career success, financial excellence, and the pursuit of individuality, Vatican II tells us “that man…cannot fully find himself except through a sincere gift of himself (“Gaudium et spes”). This idea gets to the heart of holiness: sacrificial love. Jesus loved us by laying down His life for us, as parents do for their children in everyday life.

The heart of society used to be its religious values. Sacrificial love, which is at the center of holiness, has turned to pursuing individual identities and living for ourselves. In this pursuit, the modern world lacks the greatest form of love. 

1 John 3:16 tells us, “We know what love is because Christ gave His life for us. We should give our lives for our brothers (USCCB).” This is why my husband and I pursued a young marriage. We had found our “vocatio” in one another, and with confidence in this by way of the Holy Spirit, the question begging within our own hearts of “Why marry so young?” quickly turned to “Why wait to pursue our vocation until we’re older?” We sought to follow the Lord in laying down our lives in the Sacrament of Marriage. It has been the most rewarding decision we have ever made, and the life that we laid down for one another on the altar, we have received back tenfold in love. We hope to bring this love back into our society through our marriage, even at the ages of 20 and 21.

Helpful Resources For Catholic Relationships

How to Find Your Soulmate Without Losing Your Soul

Emotional Virtue: A Guide to Drama-Free Relationships

Theology of Her Body, Revised Edition/Theology of His Body, Revised Edition (2 Books, 1 Volume)

Dating Detox: 40 Days of Perfecting Love in an Imperfect World

How to Make Great Decisions

Answers: Apologetics for Catholic Youth – Complete Answers to 25 Big Catholic Questions – Resource for Catholic Teens 

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Works Cited:

“Catechism of the Catholic Church.” Vatican.va, Libreria Editrice Vaticana, 1997, https://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG0015/__P5G.HTM. Accessed 8 March 2026.

“Gaudium et spes.” The Holy See, https://www.vatican.va/archive/hist_councils/ii_vatican_council/documents/vat-ii_const_19651207_gaudium-et-spes_en.html. Accessed 16 March 2026.

Harper, Douglas. “Vocation – Etymology, Origin & Meaning.” Online Etymology Dictionary, https://www.etymonline.com/word/vocation. Accessed 13 March 2026.

“Historical Marital Status Tables.” U.S. Census Bureau, 2 December 2025, https://www.census.gov/data/tables/time-series/demo/families/marital.html?utm_source=copilot.com. Accessed 12 March 2026.

Thorton, Arland. “Reciprocal Influences of Family and Religion in a Changing World.” The Religion and Family Connection: Social Science Perspectives, 1988, https://rsc.byu.edu/religion-family-connection/reciprocal-influences-family-religion-changing-world. Accessed 13 March 2026.

USCCB. “1 John, CHAPTER 3 | USCCB.” Daily Readings, https://bible.usccb.org/bible/1john/3. Accessed 16 March 2026.

Image: Photo by Simon Kessler on Unsplash