Maybe you shouldn’t be going to daily Mass or praying the Rosary every day.
They are both very good things. But one of the mistakes we can make in the spiritual life is to move too quickly from “this is a good thing to do” to “therefore, I should be doing it.”
Those are not the same judgment.
There are far more good things that could be done than we could ever actually do.
We could go to daily Mass. Pray the Rosary. Spend more time in prayer. Do more spiritual reading. Practice a daily examen. Practice the presence of God. Have a plan of life. Volunteer at the parish. Help a neighbor. Bring a meal to someone who just had a baby, etc.
And especially if we are serious about growing in holiness, it can be easy to feel guilty about all of the good things that we are not doing.
But the question in the spiritual life is not simply:
Is this a good thing to do?
The question is:
Is this something that I should be doing?
Suppose a mother with several young children would like to go to daily Mass. Daily Mass is obviously a very good thing. But if getting everyone out the door every morning creates chaos in the family and makes it much harder for her to fulfill the duties she already has, going to daily Mass may not actually be what she should be doing.
Or suppose someone you know just had a baby. It would be a good thing to bring the family a meal. But maybe your own family is already stretched thin, and doing so would mean neglecting a duty that God has already given you.
Even with prayer, simply adding more is not always the answer. Someone may hear about another good devotion and immediately think, I should be doing that too, when perhaps what he really needs is to do fewer things better.
This is where the virtue of prudence becomes so important.
The general principles of the spiritual life apply to everyone. But they have to be applied to this particular person, with his particular duties, circumstances, temperament, weaknesses, and needs.
But it is difficult to be prudent. It is difficult to know whether I should or should not be doing this or that thing because there are so many individual factors that have to be taken into account in figuring out what is best for us to do.
And when we compare ourselves to others in trying to figure out what we should do, there may genuinely be all kinds of differences that have to be taken into account: temperament, personality, illnesses, disabilities, and other various capacities that we may or may not have.
A Few Questions To Consider When Adding Something To Your Spiritual Life
There is no simple checklist that can answer this for everyone. The virtue of prudence applies general principles to the concrete circumstances of a particular life. But a few questions can help us begin to think more intelligently about what we are doing:
- Why am I doing this particular practice? What is it meant to accomplish in my spiritual life?
- Does it fit reasonably with the duties and circumstances of my state in life?
- Might I be neglecting other goods or duties in order to do it?
- Is it helping me pursue what is most important for my growth in holiness right now, or is it simply another good thing I have added?
- Am I doing this because I have judged it to be a good and prudent practice for me, or mainly because I feel pressure to do what a “serious Catholic” is supposed to do?
These questions do not give us an automatic answer. They help provide the material upon which prudence has to judge.
The Importance Of Spiritual Guidance
And that is one of the reasons having a good guide in the spiritual life can be so helpful.
We can push ourselves toward things that are not prudent. We can excuse ourselves from things we really should be doing. And sometimes we simply do not know which of several good possibilities deserves our action.
A good guide does not replace our prudence or simply make our decisions for us. But he can help us understand the principles of the spiritual life and then think through how those principles apply to our own circumstances.
House Of Formation Program
That is one of the reasons the House of Formation Program, offered by the Aquinas Institute for Christian Perfection, includes one-on-one spiritual direction or coaching in addition to the classes.
The classes are intended to give members a solid understanding of the general principles of the spiritual life.
But the general principles by themselves cannot answer every question about what you should do.
Christine Alvarez, one of our current members, described this part of the program very well: Dr. DuBroy worked with my temperament and life circumstances to show me how to apply general spiritual principles directly into my life.… I appreciated the temperance and prudence he brought into every piece of advice.
That is what I want the personal guidance in the program to accomplish.
Not simply to give you more good things that you ought to add to your life.
But to help you understand the spiritual life well enough—and receive enough individual guidance—that you can become better at answering the much more important question:
What should I actually be doing right now?
We have limited time and limited energy. And God has already given each of us real duties and circumstances in which we are supposed to become saints.
We cannot afford simply to keep adding good things and hope that somehow they amount to the spiritual life God is asking of us.
The House of Formation Program is not meant simply to be one more good Catholic thing piled on top of everything else. Part of its purpose is to help you figure out which things actually deserve your attention in the first place.
And we also cannot simply keep putting off the work of figuring this out.
Fr. Royo Marín, O.P., warns about precisely this:
To desire perfection in a theoretical way and to postpone one’s efforts until some later date is to live in an illusion.
One delay typically follows another. We tell ourselves that we will take the spiritual life more seriously when work settles down, when the children are older, when this difficult season is over, or when we simply have more time.
But life keeps moving.
If we really want to become saints, at some point we have to stop waiting for ideal circumstances and begin taking the spiritual life seriously in the circumstances God has actually given us.
You need more than good intentions. You need real help and guidance in the spiritual life.
Don’t put it off. Join us in the House of Formation Program beginning Monday, September 14.
It is a year-long online program for Catholics serious about becoming saints.
The goal is to help Catholics see the big picture of the spiritual life by teaching its general principles, and then help them apply those principles to their own lives through one-on-one coaching or spiritual direction.
You can learn more about the House of Formation here
If you would like to talk with me about whether the House of Formation Program would be a good fit for you, you can schedule an enrollment and discernment conversation here.
And if cost would prevent you from participating, consider joining our scholarship waitlist. It takes 2 minutes to complete. We do not want someone who sincerely desires this formation to assume that finances automatically put it out of reach.
Image: Photo by Dolina Modlitwy on Unsplash
