Every January, many women enter the new year with sincere intentions and clear goals—only to
feel discouraged when those resolutions fall apart a few weeks later. The problem isn’t a lack of
discipline or desire. More often, it’s that we jump straight into what we should do without
addressing the deeper foundations that allow change to take root.
Lasting transformation doesn’t begin with habits alone. It begins with identity—forming the mind,
learning to desire the good, and choosing it consistently. While I’ll use health and nutrition as my
primary example, these principles apply to any area of personal transformation: prayer,
relationships, work, or the pursuit of virtue itself.
A Philosophical Starting Point: How Change Actually Happens
St. Thomas Aquinas outlines three powers of the soul that shape every choice we make:
● The intellect: our reason, which seeks what is true and good
● The will: our capacity to choose the good
● The passions: our emotions and desires, which energize our actions
When these powers are well ordered, we become people who habitually choose the good.
When they are disordered, when emotions drive decisions or truth is unclear, change becomes
fragile and inconsistent.
True transformation, then, is not about forcing behavior but about becoming a well-ordered
person: someone who knows the good, desires the good, and chooses the good consistently.
With that framework in mind, here are three pillars that make lasting change possible.
Pillar 1: Understanding God’s Design
Transformation begins with forming the mind and learning from our God-given “instruction
manual.”
If you are determined to change your nutrition and use food as a tool for healing, you first need
to understand God’s design for the body. What does your body need to function well? Why does
it require certain nutrients? How is food meant to fuel and sustain you?
Does this require a PhD in nutrition? No. But it does require understanding the why behind your
choices. Without that foundation, change rarely lasts.
The internet is full of advice telling you to eat more protein, strength train, or prioritize fiber. But
without understanding why these things matter, they remain external rules rather than internal
convictions.
Consider the difference between two friends. One tells you that you should start eating
fermented foods because she saw a video about it—she can’t quite remember why, but she
never skips a day. Another friend listens as you share your frustrating stomach aches. She
explains that after doing gut testing, she learned her symptoms were connected to low
beneficial bacteria following multiple rounds of antibiotics. She began adding just a spoonful of
fermented foods daily and noticed real improvement within two months. She offers you a
spoonful of her favorite kimchi to try.
Chances are, you’re far more likely to take the second friend seriously. Her recommendation
gives you a deeper why—and a tangible story that allows you to borrow hope.
When we understand God’s design, the intellect is formed, and change has somewhere to land.
Pillar 2: Learning to Tune In
Once the mind is formed, the next step is often overlooked entirely: learning to listen.
What is your body telling you? What signals is it sending? Are there red flags being waved in
desperation?
The Lord hardwired the body with an entire language of symptoms and signs meant to
communicate what we need. Yet many of us spend years doing everything possible to drown
that communication out—because it feels too loud, too inconvenient, or too overwhelming when
we don’t know what it means or what to do about it.
But what if those signals were not a prison to resent, but keys to freedom?
Returning to the nutrition example, there is usually a reason you are seeking change: stomach
aches, acne, fatigue, or crashing every afternoon. As you begin making adjustments, tuning in
matters. Do you notice that cooking at home leaves you feeling lighter and more energized?
Has eating a more substantial breakfast stabilized your energy through lunch?
These responses are information. They are cues that your body is responding well and that you
are moving in the right direction. When the passions are ordered, when the body is listened to
rather than ignored, they support the will instead of sabotaging it.
Pillar 3: Forming Habits Through Identity and Intentionality
Finally, lasting change requires intentional habit formation.
Many people spend decades on autopilot, running routines formed in entirely different seasons
of life without ever stopping to ask: Is this still true, good, and beautiful? Is this a life worthy of
imitation – especially when no one is watching?
Who you are in private will always reveal itself in public.
Habits that last are those that align with identity. As popularized by James Clear in Atomic
Habits, we are far more likely to maintain behaviors that match who we believe ourselves to be.
If you identify as someone who “just isn’t disciplined,” joke about unhealthy habits, or quietly
judge people who live differently, lasting change will feel like swimming upstream.
Transformation requires a shift in how you see yourself and who you desire to become.
Just as important is starting small. Baby steps are essential, though often frustrating for
all-or-nothing thinkers. The story of the tortoise and the hare isn’t merely about speed; it’s about
self-knowledge. If you have a history of burning out quickly, make sustainability the goal.
Change your aim to something so simple it would be almost silly to miss. Improving nutrition
may begin with stopping at the grocery store once a week after Mass. Cooking at home may
begin with mastering one low-effort Crockpot meal you can repeat consistently. This “little way”
diffuses shame and builds trust – with yourself and with the process.
Transformation That Lasts
Lasting transformation is not about trying harder or chasing the next perfect system. It is about
becoming a person who is formed from the inside out—someone whose mind knows the good,
whose will chooses it, and whose desires are trained to support it. When these three powers of
the soul are ordered, change stops feeling fragile and starts becoming stable.
This is why so many resolutions fail. They aim at behavior without formation. They attempt
change without first rooting it in truth, self-awareness, and identity. But when transformation
begins with understanding God’s design, learning to listen to the body, and forming habits that
reflect who you are becoming, progress no longer depends on motivation alone.
This approach is certainly slower. But it is also gentler, more honest, and far more effective. It
leaves room for growth instead of perfection, and for formation instead of frustration. Over time,
the small, faithful choices compound into a way of life that actually last.
How to Use This in 2026
If you are approaching the new year, or any season of change, pause before asking, “What habit should I start?”
Instead, ask three deeper questions:
- Do I understand the truth behind what I’m trying to change?
- Am I paying attention to the signals God has built into my body and daily life?
- Are my goals aligned with the woman I am becoming, not just the outcome I want?
When transformation begins at the level of the soul, habits stop feeling like burdens and start
becoming expressions of identity. And from that place, change is no longer something you
attempt every January—it becomes the art of living well.
Image: Photo by Vitaly Gariev on Unsplash
