My dear girl:
Yesterday after we talked I was devastated. Forgive me, but the pain and anger won me over. Where was I? Could it be I never listened to what you told me? So many reprimands, so much guilt for not taking better care of you, for not being more clear and honest with you. I assumed that you knew those things, that it was all very clear to you. For some reason, I thought you didn’t need a mother anymore.
It seems I forgot that when passion presses and good friendships are missing, loneliness and temptation are too big, as much as you know about God and life. Perhaps you thought that everyone does it, that you were young and independent and you could do it all. Maybe you only wanted to live an adventure without measuring the consequences, the same way you get on a roller coaster and, after the whirl, you go on normally with your life. It was just a journey from which you’d soon return.
You crashed against the truth in the hardest of ways, you ascertained that all those tales and all those life “options” they told you about do bring consequences, and harsh ones. Sex without love is a lie, which one prefers to believe because reality is too hard. Only the naïve think they can control everything. And if it wasn’t a child? What if it’d been an incurable disease? How much do I blame myself for not having been by your side!
Forgive me, parents also forget that children grow up and make their own choices.
Do not think that I judge you or that I’m disappointed in you. I’m mad at the world and its nonsense about “living the moment”, “do what you want with your body”… False, liars! I too have fallen…
I have dreamt about your future children so many times, and believe me that I’ve seen you as the best of mothers, I know you will be, you already are. I’m proud of the decision you’ve made, listening from your lips that getting rid of your child never crossed you mind. However, if it did happen and you haven’t told me, I want you to know I understand that too, it’s not an easy situation you are going through. Talk to me, I won’t leave you alone.
I never would have wanted for you to go through such a hard situation and such a deep pain. So many dreams and possibilities that today are uncertain. Possibilities that disappear… but a new life that opens up! Still, you’ve suddenly grown up and found yourself, in an unexpected way, with that which you so much dreamed of: a child.
I know that God’s love never decreases, and right now it’s what gives me strength. It’s what helps me to see you, not only with the eyes of a hurting mother, but with Jesus’ eyes, and be able to love you even more deeply. He’s by your side more than ever. Hang on to His hand and don’t lose hope. We are with you and together we’ll get through this moment that’s sweetened by the arrival of that little boy, your son, our grandson. We’ll get to see how your body starts to change, how your belly starts growing, we’ll talk to that little one and tell him stories from which he’ll start dreaming.
Trust us, your parents. Trust that we’ll be by your side to help you through every moment, from his birth until the time when you’ll have to tell him how he was conceived. We’ve never stopped loving you, and we never will.
I love you unconditionally,
Mom
This post originally appeared here for Catholic-Link Spanish. It was translated into English by María Isabel Giraldo.
