Significant changes mark this season of my life. The biggest being my transition from college to post-college. I like to use the actual seasons to help describe the kind of season I’m in: rest reminds me of lying out and feeling the summer heat. I feel the crisp autumn air mixed with warm, shimmering sun rays dancing on my face whenever I take time to write with God. I smell the spring wildflowers and feel the warm air that’s finally arrived (usually that’s April or even May where I’m from) when I’m with family/friends, or in adoration of the Blessed Sacrament. I’ve definitely been hit by a blizzard when it comes to this post-college time, as I am still applying for jobs, praying, and waiting. At the same time, I can definitely say it feels like all the seasons are hitting me at once, often and intensely enough to notice!
New Freedom
This time in my 20s and post-college honestly feels weird and long (although it actually hasn’t been too long since I graduated in 2024). For so much of my life, things have been scheduled—ordered —and now I am free in a new way. I love this freedom, but it’s hard to see in a blizzard. It is hard to imagine the future of hope God has for me, see Jer. 29:11. The harsh winds push a snowfall of thoughts, chilling my ears with “What will my life be like since I’m so stuck now?” It’s hard to be present when everything near looks white in this storm—it seems like this void is all there is: fear, doubt, worry, and despair. Yet, by His grace, through even my littlest acts of faith and trust, I’ve learned so much. Without this blizzard, I wouldn’t have been able to grow my faith in God.
Taking time for prayer in adoration and for conversing with our Savior when I’m sitting face to face with His True and full Presence in the Eucharist, and genuinely laying my heart out before God, has been such a blessing to me in difficult times like this. It has always been the place where God fills my heart and mind with true peace from the Holy Spirit through the important truth that I am not alone. Just like St. Peter’s experience in the boat, I know the storm I’m in is NOT the end—no matter how white, how dark it all looks, or no matter how big the crashing waves are, see Mt. 14:30-33. If we keep our eyes and focus on Jesus, remembering and trusting in who He says He is, the impossible will be possible! We’ll be able to walk on those violent waves; it’ll be as if there isn’t even a storm, if we have even the littlest amount of faith in Him who has overcome the world (John 16:33). He is always so pleased with that and works wonders from any amount of surrender we offer; from that He stretches out His saving hand as He did for Peter, so that we too might follow Him through it all.
Something good to ponder and take with you the next time you’re in Adoration or silence is the verse “Jesus immediately reached out his hand and caught [Peter], saying to him, O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” (Mt. 14:31) Genuinely share with God the reasons for your doubt. See what truth He wants to say back to your heart about those doubts.
My little faith moment and the big impact of God’s grace through that:
In Adoration, I sat with God, asking Him questions He had already answered because I sought comfort for my fear of the unknown future—I was still focused on the scary storm. He reassured me by mercifully answering me and showering me with great peace—a fruit of the Holy Spirit and a reminder of His presence. He told me He is here now by reminding me He is I AM, not I was or will be. This overwhelming thought that I’m not alone flowed in my heart and mind. I was so joyful because of something so profoundly simple and true! God reminds us that with Him and through Him, there is joy even in the waiting.
Will we let Him enter our hearts, or will we look instead to ourselves for answers? Will we humble ourselves to know we need God and let Him into our lives just as He so desires?
Will we embrace joy, hope, peace by asking for the grace to Will we trust in God and believe the truth of Emmanuel—or “God is with us! Will we know, no matter what we see, that God sees the bigger picture, He is in control, and with Him alone we do not wait in vain?
We, as Christians, do not just wait; rather, we anticipate His working for our good in our lives (Romans 8:28), that His perfect timing is actually true, and His plans for us that He knows well (Jer. 29:11). We as Christians, know with the eyes of faith from God) that He is a promise keeper, just as He promised the birth of our Messiah on Christmas Day. What a soul-warming truth for us! With God, always expect goodness—but His way—and ultimately through loving Him who is Goodness itself; and letting Him love us.
“But God does not withdraw his mercy, nor permit even one of his promises to fail…” Sirach 47:22
“Not one of all the good promises which the Lord had made to the house of Israel had failed; all came to pass” Joshua 21:45.
Photo by Pang Yuhao on Unsplash
