Re-evangelizing Divorcing and Divorced Catholic Men as Soldiers of Christ and Defenders of our Faith in a Time of Crisis
In May of 1565 on the heels of a decade’s long sweep across eastern Europe, Sultan Suleyman dispatched over 25,000 Ottoman Soldiers and mercenaries to invade Malta, a small island outpost located in the central Mediterranean Sea controlled by the Knights Hospitalier. For four bloody months, just over five hundred knights accompanied by a few thousand-foot soldiers and militia resisted the Ottoman invaders, eventually expelling them from the island. Had Malta fallen, it might have signaled Suleyman’s inexorable conquest of Western Europe changing the face and future of Christendom forever.
Brothers, our faith and our culture face a similar threat today. Today, our enemies are not attacking us with double-curved blades. Instead, they are hitting us with arguably more deadly weapons; ones which strike at the heart of our most deeply held and cherished beliefs. Radical self-identification; solipsism; narcissism; obsessive materialism; and moral relativism and its concomitant rejection of objective moral truth, are all raining down upon us. These bandits are robbing us of our history and tradition, attacking our Church and threatening the health, safety and welfare of our children. The impacts of this onslaught are apparent. Our society has become increasingly dysfunctional. Look at our politics, as an example. Long gone are the days when the overarching principle governing political discourse was the maxim: “disagree without being disagreeable”. Those of you who are old enough can remember the relationship between our 40th President, Ronald Reagan, and then Speaker of the House (and fellow Catholic) Tip O’Neill. Politically, they were polar opposites. Personally, they were close friends. They understood the difference between being political adversaries and being enemies. Today, that line has not become blurred. It has been eliminated.
Look at what has happened to our children. They are more anxious and depressed than they have ever been. Many of them are trapped in an extended adolescence while sleepwalking through life in a state of perpetual ennui. They are simultaneously overstimulated and unmotivated. With great risk to the continuity of our very civilization, they are eschewing adulthood and embracing mediocrity as an inevitable fact of life. All the while, they have embraced as orthodoxy a hedonistic secular materialism focused on satisfying their appetites and impulses instead of finding their mission and purpose in life.
We need to fight back, and that means we need warriors. We need good and faithful men. I know what you are going through. This was not the picture you had for your life. Divorce has shattered your family; alienated you from once close friends; and depleted your finances. If you are like many men, it has also left you angry and bitter. You may also feel disconnected from our faith and our Roman Catholic Church. Fueling that disconnection are many common misconceptions and distortions:
- You’ve convinced yourself that because you’re divorced, you can no longer be a practicing Catholic. That is absolutely wrong. In fact, you need our faith now more than ever. As the Catechism teaches, your baptism sealed you with “an indelible spiritual mark of belonging to Christ”. He marked you at your baptism, and no earthly authority can remove it.
- You feel unworthy to call yourself a Catholic because you’re divorced. My brothers, none of us are worthy of God’s grace. None of us. Saint Peter denied even knowing Christ out of fear and self-preservation. Was he worthy? No. What became of him? He became the foundation upon which Christ would build His church. You’re not too far gone, brother, not even close.
- You can’t reconcile being divorced and being Catholic. I completely understand because I’ve wrestled with those same feelings. In my upcoming book entitled: “Keep the Faith: Why Divorcing and Divorced Catholic Men Should Remain Catholic, and How to do so Faithfully and with Integrity”, I go into detail about why you should remain Catholic, and how to overcome that hesitancy and cognitive dissonance that you’re experiencing because of your divorce. For now, just know that there are compelling reasons to remain in our Roman Catholic Family. You belong here.
I know you might feel alone, but you are not. I know that you might think of yourself as a failure, but that is not how God sees you. He has great plans for your life. Your cross is heavy, but so was His. He’s a personal God, not some Deistic abstraction. He feels your pain; and He bled and died for you because you are worth it. And, in today’s troubled world, He needs you to continue his earthly work by being His hands and feet.
To our Catholic priests and bishops, I urge you to reach out to these men in your parishes and in your dioceses. Their numbers are significant. According to the Pew Research Center, there are 53 million adult Catholics in the United States, and 20.7% of Catholic adults have experienced divorce at some point in their lives. So, upwards of 9.5 million U.S. Catholics are divorced, and half of them (4.7 million) are men. That’s the bad news. But, what if those 4.7 million men renewed their devotion to Christ and his Roman Catholic Church? What if they sought reconciliation with God, surrendered themselves to His will and committed themselves to performing the corporal and spiritual works of mercy? What if through your pastoral care you helped to convince them that the doors of Christ remain open to them? What kind of example could these men provide to our troubled youth? What great works could they accomplish in Christ’s name for the benefit of humankind? Reverend clergy, I urge you to see that the energy, stewardship, leadership and talents of these men are desperately needed. Please reach out to them.
Five centuries ago, a handful of knights saved Western Civilization. What impact could millions of men who have recommitted themselves to Christ and our Catholic Church have on our culture? The answer: they’ll help to transfigure the world.
Resources For Divorced Catholics
What’s the Big Deal With Remarried Couples Receiving Communion?
Divorced and Remarried? 5 Tips For Living out Your Catholic Faith
The Importance of Making a Spiritual Communion and How You Can Do It Anytime, Anywhere
Proposals for Divorced and Remarried Catholics and Receiving Communion
Is Your Friend Getting Divorced? 5 Tips to Helping Them During This Tough Time
(Quiz) Can You Tell the Difference Between Annulment and Divorce?
Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash
