We all like to look good. We get up in the morning and think, “Today, I’m going to go out, look handsome or beautiful and make everyone who passes me by fall in love.” But there are times that regardless of what we do some characteristics seem to sabotage our look: “If I didn’t have this nose…” “If I were a bit taller…” “My ears are too big…” (this one is mine), “My legs are so thin…” (I wish the latter were mine). How can I possibly think I look good when I have this trait I really don’t like? How can I possibly go outside looking like this? These peculiar attributes that we have can sometimes make us feel uncomfortable with ourselves.
This video gives us a few tips on how we should deal with our appearance. We SHOULD NOT, however, take these suggestions into account because we are certain this is not the best way to face the insatisfaction produced by believing that certain physical traits make us less attractive.
Not Liking One’s Looks | 6 Lies You Might Believe About Your Appearance
1.Your physical beauty is a lottery you didn’t win
We don’t pick our physical features when we are born, but to think your traits “aren’t personal” is a complete mistake. Your physical appearance is part of who you are! Learning to value your appearance is to learn to love yourself. Instead of comparing yourself to today’s beauty icons, I invite you to get to know those traits you most like about yourself and their potential. It’s not about a simple lottery, it’s about appreciating who you are entirely because this is the way God has thought of you.
2. Not being attractive will lead you to better appreciate beauty
Who could better appreciate beauty? Someone who claims they know beauty or someone who doesn’t? If we can’t find beauty within ourselves, much less will we be able to find it in others. Becoming obsessed over small details you dislike about yourself will lead you to first notice insignificant things in others. If we know how to appreciate our own beauty with everything that it implies (our noses, eyebrows, ears, etc.) we will learn to admire everyone else.
3. Someone will notice you for NOT being attractive
Truth be told, if someone notices you it’s because they think you’re attractive. It’s true that today’s society has very definite beauty standards (this doesn’t mean they are correct), but this reality does not void personal beauty standards. A person can notice you because they like you, because they think you’re attractive and not necessarily in the way established by society. They will find harmony in your face, grace in your body and light in your eyes. To show others those attractive attributes, you must first recognize and appreciate them.
4. Console yourself: many people who have everything are unattractive as well
Following this advice will only make you more reticent about your feelings towards your appearance. Consoling yourself by focusing on the lack of beauty of others is to incur in the vicious cycle of believing society’s standards of what looking good is. Learning to find the beauty in people through their most enchanting attributes will lead you to notice your most appealing attributes every morning when you look in the mirror.
5. Handsome or beautiful people will be ugly
Waiting for people who you think are attractive to lose their appeal so you can feel better is a clear invitation for envy. Your beauty does not depend on someone else’s supposed “ugliness.” To put your “level” of attractiveness in terms of comparison with others is to never be beautiful yourself.
6. Don’t pay attention to the traits you don’t like
Finally, the toughest of the tips: What to do with the traits I just don’t like? It’s not about creating a parallel universe in your mind in which your nose is smaller or your hips are less wide. It’s about accepting that some parts of the body are what they are, but be sure that these traits don’t determine whether you are attractive or not. Your beauty doesn’t depend on whether or not your factions “change,” it depends on the fact that they are mixed together with your other traits in a unique way.
These “non-tips” we just reviewed are a type of consolation for someone who has lost. They invite people who don’t like how they look to feel better from their unsatisfaction through false hope and unnecessary comparisons. What’s really attractive about a person is that they love themselves just as they are.
Real beauty is a combination of what’s inside and how that reflects on the outside: your way of caring for others; your way of expressing what you think; your style when you dress, etc. If we dedicate our time to getting to know ourselves and value our own identity instead of obsessing with meeting the standards of beauty established by society, we will be happier, free and definitely more attractive.