There are 3 reasons why I agree with the arguments of Lauren, the woman who made a YouTube explaining why she’s not a feminist.

Admittedly, my arguments don’t have much to do with the equality of rights (because, obviously, we all have equal rights), but they are in line with what reality shows us.

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Which brings me to my first reason; it’s quite simple: logically, what Lauren says sounds rational.

1. Feminism is not a synonym of equality.

The other two reasons are more elaborate and I will explain them below. But first, watch the video and consider your own response.

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2. I am not feminist, but feminine.

Like it or not, the question of “feminine genius” has been a constant throughout history (indeed, it’s precisely because men and women want women’s unique gifts to be recognized as valuable). Although some now defend the idea that anyone can choose their own sex, and that a man can “be a woman,” and vice-versa, even physically… they’ve taken the wrong path.  But even beyond all those manipulations, extended definitions, and restrictions on life, we should ask ourselves: Are there any constants that allow us to defend the fact that we’re women, that is, that we belong uniquely and exclusively to the feminine sex?

Edith Stein, a great saint, addresses the question of feminine essence though an interesting approach: from the basis of a woman’s external appearance, she tries to arrive at prudent conclusions about the feminine “inner self.” Thus, she uses as a method the scholastic maxim of the soul as a form of the body: maternity as corporal ability.

“The primary profession of woman is the procreation and raising of children. […] In woman (stand out) the abilities of preserving what is born and grows, to take care of it and foment its development: therefore, the gift of living linked, corporally close, and of gathering strength in tranquility and, on the other hand, of bearing pains, renouncing, adapting; emotionally possesses an attitude to what is concrete, individual and personal, the ability to conceive it in its particularity and adapting to it, the desire to help it in its development.”

Us women feel empathy for the weakest, or the greatest and most attractive, we have a great ability of adaptation and the gift of company and hospitality; Edith Stein expresses all this in a single word: delicateness. This is the fundamental force that makes us get excited about everything that is human, particularly for what is beautiful, excited about truth, for everything “that acts beyond this life with mysterious power and attraction,” according to Stein. To me, this synthesizes very well what “feminine genius” is and why, basically and obviously, we are different than men. Therefore, we do not need to be equal, we just need to be respected as what we are: women. Period.

3. Both sexes have problems and equality cannot solve them.

The equality of rights for both sexes works if it results in the promotion of a more just and civilized society. And in order to achieve that, it’s not necessary to be feminist as Lauren explains. It’s enough to clearly understand the human being: we all must be treated under the same premises regarding dignity, care, social and economic guaranties, etc. That is why this task concerns both men and women. It’s not a matter of men becoming feminists and acquiescent towards women, but that each one knows how to take on, in justice and truth, their corresponding role in all human spheres: work, family, Church, social groups, etc. I think, as Pope Francis says, that the solution lies in men and women listening and coming to know each other better, so that together they can cooperate in the construction of a world where natural differences do not mean inequality and conflict.

“We risk taking a step backwards. The removal of difference in fact creates a problem, not a solution. In order to resolve the problems in their relationships, men and women need to speak to one another more, listen to each other more, get to know one another better, love one another more. They must treat each other with respect and cooperate in friendship. On this human basis, sustained by the grace of God, it is possible to plan a lifelong marital and familial union” (Pope Francis).

This post originally appeared here on Catholic-Link Spanish, and was translated into English by Lorena Tabares.