How Can You Destroy a Relationship With Just One Look?

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Have you ever simply sat and observed how others look?

I am not referring to their outer appearance, rather to how to they look at what’s around them. Where and how a person looks can tell you a lot about who they are and where their heart is. Every glance is filled with intentionality, be it a conscious one or one built up over time by habit.


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Today’s video is perfect in that it unveils the intention behind the glance and invites us to take a look into our own lives and see precisely where our heart is at.


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First, we see dissatisfaction and a decisive escape from reality through technology. The limits of authenticity are surpassed by a new equipment call “sight systems.” With it, the most ordinary moments of the day are turned into entertainment. The ordinariness of life is replaced by a constant videogame-like stimulation. Personally, I thought the “snail zombies” part was cleverly placed, showing how amid such an elaborate escape mechanism Patrick’s life is extremely dull and empty.


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Another element is the hunger for control. The “sight system” has removed almost all boundaries and allows his whims to take the reigns. Any feeling, sight, or experience can be his without effort or cost. And, while many of these technological capacities are good in themselves, if used incorrectly, the capacity to cause harm is amplified.

Now, arriving at the main issue, what happens when these characteristics are applied to the person? What happens when the other becomes a mere source of gratification, a chance for a “high score”, another download to be quickly discarded? And, what does this reveal about Patrick and his own approach to life?

The cause of his decision is left unsaid, but it is evident that he has given up on any authentic relationship with reality in general, and, above all, with other people. Looking at Daphne, he reduces her to an object, to something to be used or abused. He “knows” her only in order to use her with great efficiency. He is incapable of true concern for her story, her feelings, her dignity, her identity… What a contrast between this miserable existence and a life of authentic love! The security and assurance of success promised by things such as his “Wingman” application lead him down a wide path littered with superficial delights–at the expense of others– and deep sorrows.

One could also ask, “What is Patrick so afraid of?” What prevents him from freely entering into reality and into a relationship with another without all the firewalls and wingmen? Authentic love is impossible without trust and freedom. Both are impossible when subjected to impurity’s desire to possess and control…

All this can be witnessed in the “look.” Our “look” gives expression to a more interior seeing. As I said in the anterior post, that which should lead us to perceive and immerse ourselves in reality, becomes a type of “mirror” or lens that perceives only that which serves our whimsical desires. But, what many of us fail to realise, is that we apply that “seeing” to our own selves as well. We reduce ourselves and begin to alienate ourselves more and more from who God has called us to be.

“Because you say: I am rich, and made wealthy, and have need of nothing: and know not that you are wretched, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked.” (Ap 3, 17).

About Garrett Johnson

Garrett Johnson has written 373 post in this blog.

Born in Texas, I fell in love with evangelization when I was 18. A former NET member and a Franciscan University of Steubenville Alumnus, I am now living in Rome and studying for the priesthood.

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